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fartcatcher

Yeovil (How times have changed)

Ten years ago we were still in the Prem and Yeovil were in the Conference playing on a pitch steeper than Wesley Street.

Surely we've got to beat this lot. Relegation position. Their forwards haven't managed a goal between them yet.

I have become a bit of a Jonah over the last couple of years. Not the one that got eaten by a whale, the other one from the bible.
Last time I saw us win was 1-0 v Barnsley last year (dodgy pen.). The time before was 2-1 v Bristol City about a year before that.

It will be a long day. Got to get up at 6:30 and go to Coalville (yes it's as bad as it sounds), up the M1, drop an epicyclic random tandem bifocal wireless network card off at S2's student house in Hyde Park, then over to my sister's in Chapel Allerton for lunch (nothing with garlic please, Helen, you remember what happened last time). Then onto the match, then back down the M1, spend half an hour in a queue at the Tollbar Island, and finally pick mrs fc up from a piss-uo in Warwick.

2-0 will do.

At least the ticket only cost 23.00.
Late Doors

 such commitment, what could possibly go wrong ?

don't they have epicyclic random tandem bifocal wireless network cards in Leeds ?
carp

No go for me. Meeting clients at 13.00 for tasting.
Nyles O Cranium

Shame but I knew it would happen eventually Carp, resorting to cannibalism to profit
smiling badger

Well there you go FC. You got your 2-0!
fartcatcher

smiling badger wrote:
Well there you go FC. You got your 2-0!


A rare event indeed.

First half was a bit grim. Les picked three centrebacks   and it took them about 10 minutes to work out who was marking who. Particularly as Yeovil played without a centre forward. If their very quick No 23 had a bit more composure we could have been a goal down.

Our midfield started off like clumsy adolescents on a first date but got better as the game went on.

Football's Gladstone Small had a storming game, and made both goals, but appears to have inherited Jonathan Douglas's shooting boots.

Matt Smith (B.A Hons) played like his boots were laced together.

Second half was a vast improvement. Warnock replaced by new foreign chap (that made 4 centre backs!) and Pearce went to LB where he performed creditably. Warnock looked to be seriously crocked so he may have to get used to it.
The solidly constructed, yet surprisingly delicate, Smith was replaced by Blackstock, who played the way a centre forward is supposed to play.

Yeovil's manager has done well to get them into this division. Many of his team looked young enough to be of interest to a Jesuit priest.

I fear they may well go back whence they came.

over to LD now for a proper match report.
Nyles O Cranium

Thought Yeovil looked pretty half decent in attack.  We were shite in the first half and were it not for them both being big, I almost forgot McCormack and Smith were playing.  But credit where it's due, the whole team played a lot better in the second half.
Nyles O Cranium

McCormack is short but quite wide, with the distinctive 44 on his back too, just to explain my 'big' comment
fartcatcher

Nyles O Cranium wrote:
McCormack is short but quite wide, with the distinctive 44 on his back too, just to explain my 'big' comment


thanks for clarifying that  
Nyles O Cranium

I try to paint pictures with words, you're welcome
carp

Nyles O Cranium wrote:
Shame but I knew it would happen eventually Carp, resorting to cannibalism to profit


I'll eat anything for the right price.
Heyho

First match of the season. Sat (sorry stood) at the back of the kop amongst the 'youngsters and their dads'.

What a sad bunch of wankers. If my son spent the whole match shouting fucking cunt, fuck off wanker, I'd kick the shit out of him. And I am glad the lad (and those around him that thought it funny) was happy when he shouted out fucking nigger. Right next to a steward as well.

I must be getting old
smiling badger

Heyho wrote:
First match of the season. Sat (sorry stood) at the back of the kop amongst the 'youngsters and their dads'.

What a sad bunch of wankers. If my son spent the whole match shouting fucking cunt, fuck off wanker, I'd kick the shit out of him. And I am glad the lad (and those around him that thought it funny) was happy when he shouted out fucking nigger. Right next to a steward as well.

I must be getting old


Shit like that happening this day and age. No hope.
fartcatcher

smiling badger wrote:
Heyho wrote:
First match of the season. Sat (sorry stood) at the back of the kop amongst the 'youngsters and their dads'.

What a sad bunch of wankers. If my son spent the whole match shouting fucking cunt, fuck off wanker, I'd kick the shit out of him. And I am glad the lad (and those around him that thought it funny) was happy when he shouted out fucking nigger. Right next to a steward as well.

I must be getting old


Shit like that happening this day and age. No hope.


I thought they'd knocked that sort of thing on the head. Stewards are paid to kick those people out. First time I took D1 to a match (about 2001) there was loads of that stuff going on. She hated it and never went to another game.
Frazier Cranium

It's poor form on the club's part.  I think they sometimes try to retrospectively deal with such shit but that's probably just with season ticket holders.  This lot sounds like they weren't ST holders.  Stewards etc have got a hard job to do but that's what they're bloody paid for.  This is fcking appalling a story, I really do hate too many people these days thanks to c0unts like those Leeds fans.
bearing

Heyho wrote:
First match of the season. Sat (sorry stood) at the back of the kop amongst the 'youngsters and their dads'.

What a sad bunch of wankers. If my son spent the whole match shouting fucking cunt, fuck off wanker, I'd kick the shit out of him. And I am glad the lad (and those around him that thought it funny) was happy when he shouted out fucking nigger. Right next to a steward as well.

I must be getting old


It would be nice to be able to video these dregs of humanity then send a copy to the club suggesting action be taken or the video will be taken higher.

The problem is that it's a succession of dads who demonstrate such behaviour to lads who then become dads and demonstrate it to their lads and on and on and on...

Life is like this in general and the worrying thing is that while the majority of upstanding families have maybe one or two children these families tend to have more kids. Give it a few hundred years and the entire country will be made up of these idiots.
Late Doors

Late and hurried but whachyagonnadobarit ?

Threw in a quirky trio for the pre match. North bar, wrens and the new Belgrave place round the corner. Decent range of ales in the latter, very urban loft conversiony and a brilliant roof top terrace for the warmer months. Will certainly be going again for gigs.

Got the bus up and entered the kop to a sombre last post and silent respect before a more cheerful 45 minutes began. I say more cheerful, only just.
Yeovil kicked off attacking the kop in a truly horrific away kit and immediately conceded a free kick and possession that there keeper collected easily from Smiths head. They countered tenuously but Rudy won well and fed Mowatt whose dare i say trade mark outside of foot shot was saved. The lad does seem fond of using this technique.

Yeovil attacked again with no conviction but they gradually realised that they had nothing to fear. Their confidence grew as we struggled to find a shape or inspiration. Ross sent a free kick that Smith met giving us a corner just as the Cass lads arrived in front of us on 8 minutes.

Murphy had a nice early touch and the game reached a bit of a stalemate. I wouldn't say Yeovil came to defend but their young side busied themselves working hard and making it difficult for us whilst we showed no real hurriedness. In fact it was a Yeovil shot over the bar that spurred us into any initiative ourselves. Ross started it with a good forward run and pass followed by a Peltier interception to break up the counterattack. Mowatt responded by taking the ball forward and found Rudy who..... wait for it.....shot wide.

Nonetheless Rudy seemed to have the bit between his teeth and set up another attack and the low cross into the box incredibly slid under Smiths feet for a bad miss. We persisted in patient testing of the Yeovil defence but it was very uninspiring stuff. A free kick was curled wide after a foul on Mowatt before Rudy got caught in possession trying to be cute leaving Paddy to rescue the situation. Warnock went down after a 50/50 for some treatment as a slow hey hey hey Leeds United chant emerged from the back of the Kop. This seemed to prompt some feistiness into the game that inspired Yeovil more than us as the cut through our defence with ease during a period of dangerous uncertainty in our rear ranks. Pearce cleared to the left and he himself ran wide to collect it as we looked at sixes and sevens.

Another cross into the box seemed to catch Smith out just before Warnock limped off to be replaced by the new defender we have on loan from Hearts. More confusion at the back ensued as Pearce again at acting left back seemed uncertain of his role. Yeovil must have sensed this brittleness as the pressed and tried to create. A bigger faster stronger team would have exploited us but we held out until the Norman Hunter show at half time.

Top man is Norman as we know and tributes from team mates were played on the big screen as I struggled with the fact that the man is seventy years old.

Rudy himself no stranger to the odd bout of Limb tasting surged forward and fed Ross. "Score yer c**t" was the shout from behind with a distinct Denby Dale twang and Ross duly did with a thunderous finish to his obvious delight and no doubt relief.

Any chance of a Yeovil response was put on temporary hold as a terrific challenge from Pearce I think sent their man crashing into the advertising boards to leave a gaping hole in it. Parker Engineering should be proud. Yeovil did eventually respond winning a corner but the second half was already beginning to look like a formality even for us perennial losers at the jaws of victory. Rudy was beginning to dominate but Yeovil did make the occasional threat with Paddy tipping one effort over the bar.

Rudy must have sensed his assurgency and tried another, ahem shot that actually landed two rows in front of us but in the main our play was comfortable composed and neat without being anything to fizzing. The crowd of 25000 were enjoying it albeit in a quite non animated way. Just after I said to MDM that the trouble with Rudy is that he can't control, has no vision and doesn't find the killer pass he took a fabulous ball turned on a sixpence, spotted Ross and fed him perfectly for the striker to hit home the second and probable game winner. Nothing more was said of my expert player diagnosis afterwards.

What followed was routine, the players enjoyed the comfort as did we (or did we? we certainly aren't used to it). The wind picked up and bits of litter did a mini cyclone on the corner of the pitch as we relaxed for the final quarter and allowed Yeovil to come at us which they did to their credit. A couple of attempts went wide, they had a couple of corners but we defended well to see the 4 minutes added time out.

So a great bounce back after the disappointment of last week and incredibly we seem to be a mere three points of the play off positions. Strewth, maybe there is a sniff of it.
fartcatcher

Thanks LD.

Yeovil's away kit was truly appalling. Lucky the sun went in as I was starting to get a migraine.
marche-deane-man

Great match report ld. You just get better and better.
wotsfortea

How on earth does L.D. remember all that?
Is he taking notes during the match?
Frazier Cranium

Yes, I think he does though I should stress that whilst he is usually only a few yards away from me in t'Kop, I've never seen him with pad or nib in hand there
sheeps

wotsfortea wrote:
How on earth does L.D. remember all that?
Is he taking notes during the match?


No he keeps it all in his head.
Forest

sheeps wrote:
wotsfortea wrote:
How on earth does L.D. remember all that?
Is he taking notes during the match?


No he keeps it all in his head.


It's the MI5 training.
wotsfortea

sheeps wrote:
wotsfortea wrote:
How on earth does L.D. remember all that?
Is he taking notes during the match?


No he keeps it all in his head.


No he doesn't, men can only remember three things at once, if they scored more than 3 goals in one match he would be stuffed.
Grind

wotsfortea wrote:
sheeps wrote:
wotsfortea wrote:
How on earth does L.D. remember all that?
Is he taking notes during the match?


No he keeps it all in his head.


No he doesn't, men can only remember three things at once, if they scored more than 3 goals in one match he would be stuffed.


As would be, hopefully, the opposition.
fartcatcher

One day his brain will fill up like a hard disk and he'll have to start backing it up and deleting some of the more useless stuff.
Grind

fartcatcher wrote:
One day his brain will fill up like a hard disk and he'll have to start backing it up and deleting some of the more useless stuff.


I would suggest pretty much everything from 2004 inwards......

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