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Whilst having a sort out over Christmas, I came across a tatty looking brown A4 envelope in the bottom draw of the filing cabinet.
It had my name on it, so I opened it. It had all my school reports in it. It must have lain untouched for over 30 years, since we cleared my parents house.

I was never a diligent pupil, but I was actually shocked at how uniformly indifferent they were. The highlights were 'capable when he tries' or 'has a good memory for facts'.

I must have some form of selective memory lapse, as I thought I was ok - at least until the hormones started kicking in.

Anyway - they're in the recycling bin now. Although the kids are in their 20s, I wouldn't want them to see them.

Went to a Grammar school but never enjoyed it. Passed my 11+ but it was all downhill after that. Six years of chalk and talk, writing up notes from your 'rough book', Latin, Rugby, mashed swede, condoned bullying, lines, detentions, swots who recited German poetry in their lunch hour, teachers wearing gowns.

And no girls

I actually didn't mind Grammar School.

I remember my mock O level Physics reports saying 21% and 21st in the class, well done. I passed it
Frazier Cranium

I got 9% in my Maths mock.  Stupid bastard me thought I was cool or something.

Passed it eventually, with a B.  Eventually

I went to a comp. I was never very bright academically (late bloomer with education, going back to uni when 27). Had some great laughs at school but with hindsight school just seemed to be somewhere they sent you until you were old enough to go to work. Had last exam and that was me shot out into the big wide world with no careers guidance and no idea what to do next. In the final analysis it was a good place to find out about bands and music. I can still remember walking up to the bus stop to go to school in the village where I lived and spotting an older kid I knew called Mark Shaw with the 12" of Blue Monday under his arm and me asking him: "What's that?".
Frazier Cranium

'My arm'.
Frazier Cranium

I fucked up at school, that's the truth, too obsessed with playing football and dreaming about a couple of lasses I had the hots for.  I resented being told what to do and being told by teachers that I should be a top student and preparing for university.  It was all shit, the country was shit, the jobs situation was shit and LU got relegated when I was 17.  I stayed on in the 6th form to retake some O levels and study for 2 A levels.  I never completed the A level courses.  I had a hard time getting a worthwhile job so went to Park Lane College to resit Maths and take up history A level while claiming a pitiful amount of dole at the same time.  

If I'd gone to uni or Poly I am confident I would have got into some serious bother with booze and drugs.  Instead I stayed at home and got into less serious bother with just the booze.

I was (perhaps surprisingly?) a bit of a swot and I wish I had spent a bit more time goofing off and, well, smelling the roses.

I did at least play football and cricket (I still "sort of" play football), but there were definitely missed opportunities for me to do other things that annoy me now that I look back.

That said, I guess I wouldn't be where I am now and, all things considered, life could be much worse.

I'm pretty sure I still have my school reports somewhere in the house.

I remember one of them saying something along the lines of, "He has a smart mouth."

So, in summary, a gobby twat who was just acceptable enough to not get routinely beaten up.

* Hmmmmm. *
Frazier Cranium

Are you sure it wasn't 'purdy mouth' they wrote, there were rumours you know.

Frazier Cranium wrote:
Are you sure it wasn't 'purdy mouth' they wrote, there were rumours you know.

It was undeniably that sort of school.

* I'm not one to share my biscuits though. *

I think that I have a decent enough vocabulary, but I'm also well aware that I do not write at all well, which I find very annoying. So it probably annoys everyone else too.....

At school, you were either Sciences, Languages or Humanities.

It seemed acceptable to learn passable French and/or German, but I wish I'd made some effort to study Latin and Greek.

There's something quite satisfying about knowing the roots of words, but, well, fuck it. Too late now.

It is what it is. Or was what it was.

Frazier Cranium wrote:
'My arm'.

Mr Grind for the ladies and gentlemen of the jury, could you tell us how many times Codge was suspended from school for interfering with himself in front of other male pupils.........


The facial hair is no more, but it has to be said my "regular" hair is definitely having "one of those days" at the moment.

Oh, and I'm sure Codge was often suspended from his nylon grunners in the lower sixth dorm.

* It's what his family wanted. *
Late Doors

I also went to grammar school and loved it, every single bit of it , even the detentions that i proudly held the school record for the most consecutive. Not that i was a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination just one that didn't know when to stop carrying on.

Best thing was the football. We had virtually all of the Huddersfield town boys in our team and were almost unbeatable, especially at home high up on the frozen plains of Longwood Edge where the next highest point East was the Urals. Being part of that and captain for a while was probably the best thing I'd ever been till a lot later on in life. The other schools all wanted a go but only Almondbury and Moor End ever got the better of us at their place. Even Fartown never managed to run us but there was mutual respect cos of the football i think, they were good as well. There was this impression that because we were grammar school we were soft but some of the biggest nutters I've ever seen went there, serious head cases. Like that old expression" if he had a brain he'd be dangerous" kind of thing.

Many of the friends i made there have been lifelong friends and the teachers were just brilliant in all their different guises. The soft ones, the strict ones, the hard ones, the funny ones and the colorful ones, all ace and memorable and all dedicated teachers. Yep, my school days were ace, why i was in such a rush to jump into the factory chuff knows. Well i do, it was simply a case if wanting to earn.

At the risk of posting something sensible, I have a lot of respect for people who decide they want to take  university courses later in life than is the norm.

I did all of my formal education in the supposedly proper order and at the supposedly proper times, which I strongly suspect is much easier to do, but in an equal measure is often totally wasted on the young.

I did have to do a bit of teaching back in the day and I enjoyed the enthusiasm and passion of the older students who were there to learn rather than just pick up another credit.

They did tend to struggle more, but I reckon most of them were all the better for waiting.

Just to keep my online persona intact, I did notice that the girls often had bigger knockers than the lads.
Late Doors

Yeah i did a DMS when i was 28 or so, two years of not particularly challenging work but long hours at Uni and home. We were all different ages but the ones my age and older certainly worked the hardest and put the most effort in.

They say education is wasted on the young. I quickly learned when young how to do 'enough to get by'. So I just scraped through GCEs, A-levels and University. Then ended up teaching as it was the only job I could get.

The rebellion of youth comes to all of us at some time. Unfortunately in my case it lasted seven years. I would have done a lot better if I'd started my degree at 28 rather than 18, although I'm not sure what I'd have done in the intervening 10 years.
smiling badger

Hated school days big time when i first started. Primary school especially. My mum would walk me to school and drop me off at the school gates only to find me sitting on the door step at home on her return from the school. Got to the point that they had to lock the doors to keep me in for a while.
Comprehensive school for me wasnt as bad but i just didnt want to be there. Was more of a socialising thing to me if im honest. I was ( still am) rubbish at maths but was a little better at English but not by too much.
Loved Art and was told to go do it rather than waste the time of the teachers of other subjects which i did happily.
Would have loved to have gone to some kind of Art college once i'd left school but in my household as a kid wasnt an option. Infact the village where i lived it wasnt heard of by the Council house abodes.
You left school got a job and earned a living.
Not saying that i would have become some kind of Graphic Designer or anything like that but would have been nice to have been given the option as to what to do once i'd left school rather than being stuck in manual jobs like i have since the day that i gladly left school.

Pretty quiet a school, fell in with the lads who went to football at high school and that along with music seemed to take over my life.

I was in trouble no more or less than most kids. Respected strict teachers and had no time for the ones who couldn't control a class. Their classes seemed to go on forever. As a consequence, I more or less stopped going to school to such a degree my dad wondered if I was been bullied when the school finally inquired as to where I was. Ironically I used to spend a lot of time in book shops and the library in town. I read a lot and could be sarcastic but I had no desire to be disruptive. I went to a school that had been all girls up until a year before we started, the teachers didn't really know how to cope with wild young lads and because of this, as long as you weren't doing anything crazy they left you alone. I went from 1st in the school in design and metalwork class to downing tools and doing nothing for two years. I mean I just sat there all class with this little beardy fucker telling me I'd be sorry when I was older. My own choice but poor teaching none the less. I was good at maths but had no interest. I didn't like the teacher in the top class for English, she seemed to think Dickens was beyond me as I showed no interest. The fact I'd read all the ones she asigned before I got to high school - we had loads of books at home - was lost on her. Not difficult just boring to me at 13. I didn't care much for most of the kids either so I asked to go in the second stream where we had a fantastic teacher, totally motivated and someone you could relate to and some great kids who'd join in great vocal, loud debates that really made you think. We read real books and even if I bunked the whole day I'd often show up to her class. I did no homework all year. She told me it would break her heart to see me waste it all and I handed in 12 book reports in the final week. I wish I had more teachers like her. They seemed to think I knew what i wanted in life and just let me go. I'm not blaming anyone but I am pretty sure I would have been a different, I dare say, better person had I gone to a different high school, one where they made you work. I have some happy memories of school and the rest I am totally ambivalent towards, a bit like the rest of my life.
Late Doors

They key thing for me is waste. I hate waste, any waste be it resources, time, money, talent, potential, whatever. Lots of people make up for wasted time at school in later life of course but those few years are so important. Good teachers should be on as much as good footballers Forum Index -> Life in the fish bowl
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