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fartcatcher

Porridge

As i was doing a run this morning i decided to start the day with something healthy rather than my usual mug of tea and two chocolate biscuits.

So i made some porridge. They have rebranded it 'oat so simple' now btw.

I hadn't eaten porridge or over thirty years (possibly forty). It still tastes shit - even with honey and vanilla added to it.

The Scots must be laughing their sporrans off. What can we do with all these leftover oats rather than using them to feed the pigs.

Hey, lets sell them to those daft bastards in England.*

*see also haggis
Grind

I quite often make porridge this time of year - but not the instant crap - the stuff that takes about twenty minutes to make.
Forest

Lately I have been having 'overnight oats' for breakfast or cold porridge as my wife calls it.
Rolled oats, add some milk or yoghurt and leave overnight to soak. Throw in some fruit or nuts if you like.
The oats retain all the nutrients that are lost in the cooking process but are soft enough to digest. I recommend it.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

Disagree! Now WINTER IS COMING it is a staple of my diet and prepares me well for a day


Just chuck a load of honey and chopped fruit in it
Dock

Quite partial to those Quaker sachets that you add milk to and put in the microwave for two minutes. I just like the original plain flavour though, I'm not one for the syrup or apple varieties. You should never fuck with a classic.
Late Doors

Got to keep your eye on it though, it makes a right mess of the microwave if you take your eye off it for a nano second and it spills over rendering the micro wave like a teenagers night sock
Grind

Just made a bowl of the stuff here - takes about half an hour if you use the steel-cut oatmeal - and topped it off with some local maple syrup.

Phenomnomnominal.
Forest

Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
Disagree! Now WINTER IS COMING it is a staple of my diet and prepares me well for a day


Just chuck a load of honey and chopped fruit in it


Honey and chopped fruit is soooo Kings Landing.
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
Got to keep your eye on it though, it makes a right mess of the microwave if you take your eye off it for a nano second and it spills over rendering the micro wave like a teenagers night sock


The best way to not have to keep an eye on it is if you look at the side of each sachet it says mix with milk and microwave for two minutes. So what I find is the best method for it not over-cooking and spilling is setting the microwave for the two minutes that the instructions on the packet says regarding the cooking time. Hey presto, no spills. I know it sounds like a whacky idea but it really works. I found it in the Top Tips section of this months edition of 'Porridge Preparation for Morons'. I'll PM you the subscription details you thick bastard! FFS LD have a day off will ya.
Late Doors

 so let me get this right. You need to read the instructions to make porridge?. Its true what they say about bloody students isnt it.
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
 so let me get this right. You need to read the instructions to make porridge?. Its true what they say about bloody students isnt it.


I'm not the one with a porridge covered microwave though am I Hammerhead.
Forest

Dock wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
 so let me get this right. You need to read the instructions to make porridge?. Its true what they say about bloody students isnt it.


I'm not the one with a porridge covered microwave though am I Hammerhead.


Do you know those packet porridges are 25% sugar? There's probably more nutrition in a bowl of coco pops
Dock

Forest wrote:
Dock wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
 so let me get this right. You need to read the instructions to make porridge?. Its true what they say about bloody students isnt it.


I'm not the one with a porridge covered microwave though am I Hammerhead.


Do you know those packet porridges are 25% sugar? There's probably more nutrition in a bowl of coco pops


I'd rather have a bowl of coco pops!
fartcatcher

Porridge has traditionally been used as prison food for inmates in the British prison system and so "doing porridge" became a slang term for a sentence in prison.
Frazier Cranium

I like porridge.

End of dampatches.
smiling badger

I did actually like me oats up until forest said that they were full to the brim with sugar.
I too seem to make my microwave look like i have thrown a bowl full of hot porridge inside it from 25 paces.
Plastic Man

The basic porridge oats we use recommends using for one serving 30 g of oats and 180 mL of milk/ milk and water.

On the first occasion I accurately measured out 30 g of oats. This equated to 4 heaped dessert spoons.

I then accurately measured the (my preferred) milk/ water mixture (for me, roughly 3 parts milk to one part water), which I put in a cup and roughly gauged where it came up to.

Now, I don't need to do any accurate measuring.

I roughly measure the milk/ water in a cup and place in a bowl. I add the four heaped dessert spoons of oats, cover and microwave (800 W) for 2 minutes. I then stir, added in sweetener (honey/ sugar) and microwave for about another 30 seconds. From experience, much longer than this can cause the porridge to expand rapidly and blast out of the bowl.

You can adapt the above to taste and the oats you are using.

SB - basic/ simple porridge oats are extremely healthy. The problem is with the extra sugar that will be found in branded, pre-packaged "oh-so-simple-cook-in-a-bag-in two-minutes" stuff.

If  you can afford the extra 30 seconds, traditional oats are probably less than a quarter of the cost of the so-called "easy-cook" type porridge.
Grind

Cook it in a saucepan, you lazy gets....



* Surprisingly, not invented in Leeds.
fartcatcher

Uniformity of Granulation. That's class.
Forest

Grind wrote:
Cook it in a saucepan, you lazy gets....



No don't cook them, it's actually more healthy.
Grind

Forest wrote:
Grind wrote:
Cook it in a saucepan, you lazy gets....



No don't cook them, it's actually more healthy.


You might as well eat gravel.

* As long as it's of a uniform cut and size, obviously.
Forest

Grind wrote:
Forest wrote:
Grind wrote:
Cook it in a saucepan, you lazy gets....



No don't cook them, it's actually more healthy.


You might as well eat gravel.

* As long as it's of a uniform cut and size, obviously.


Soaked overnight in milk they are perfect and can be eaten cold, which is the way I prefer now. Bit of sugar, chuck some fruit in.
Grind

Forest wrote:
Grind wrote:
Forest wrote:
Grind wrote:
Cook it in a saucepan, you lazy gets....



No don't cook them, it's actually more healthy.


You might as well eat gravel.

* As long as it's of a uniform cut and size, obviously.


Soaked overnight in milk they are perfect and can be eaten cold, which is the way I prefer now. Bit of sugar, chuck some fruit in.


The soaking overnight (in the fridge) does cut down on the cooking time considerably.

Try some maple syrup. Nom.
bearing

Dock wrote:
Forest wrote:
Dock wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
 so let me get this right. You need to read the instructions to make porridge?. Its true what they say about bloody students isnt it.


I'm not the one with a porridge covered microwave though am I Hammerhead.


Do you know those packet porridges are 25% sugar? There's probably more nutrition in a bowl of coco pops


I'd rather have a bowl of coco pops!


That's Ebola coco pops...

I love the sound of overnight oats

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