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grunt

Olympics

This is starting today apparently, apart from the bits that have already started. A nearly blind S Korean archer has just broken the world record. Top 'arras, son. I believe Kim-Jong Un could beat that with his eyes stapled shut though, and with fewer arrows, and less imperialism.

This post is sponsored by Coca-Cola and Lloyds TSB
grunt

Afghanistan topping the medals table so far, closely followed by Albania.
bearing

What's all this Olympics stuff then?
grunt

bearing wrote:
What's all this Olympics stuff then?


I think it's a new burger McDonalds have introduced. Probably got humous in. They're doing a big campaign for it this evening i think.
fartcatcher

bearing wrote:
What's all this Olympics stuff then?


It's a bit like Jeux Sans Frontiers but without Stuart Hall.
Late Doors

Re: Olympics

grunt wrote:
This is starting today apparently, apart from the bits that have already started. A nearly blind S Korean archer has just broken the world record. Top 'arras, son. I believe Kim-Jong Un could beat that with his eyes stapled shut though, and with fewer arrows, and less imperialism.

This post is sponsored by Coca-Cola and Lloyds TSB


Sorry but Arrow cars are not an official sponsor of 2012 therefore that post contravenes the sponsor nazi act 2012 section b paragraph 4a and you must now accompany me to the Tower for correction activity.
bearing

FUCKING ACE OPENING CEREMONY!

Thought I was tripping for most of it.

Shame that Scouse twat took off a little bit of shine at the end.
Late Doors

Yep really enjoyed it, a triumph. More fool anyone who endured that siilly twonk though, thought you'd know better. What did you expect from him?
bearing

Late Doors wrote:
Yep really enjoyed it, a triumph. More fool anyone who endured that siilly twonk though, thought you'd know better. What did you expect from him?


I was waiting to see what happened afterwards, I'm still wondering how you can produce an extravaganza to that extent and quality and then choose him to be the last artist when there are better and more contemporary people.

Oh well, I'll just forget that bit and bury it beneath the other stuff.
Plastic Man

bearing wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
Yep really enjoyed it, a triumph. More fool anyone who endured that siilly twonk though, thought you'd know better. What did you expect from him?


I was waiting to see what happened afterwards, I'm still wondering how you can produce an extravaganza to that extent and quality and then choose him to be the last artist when there are better and more contemporary people.

Oh well, I'll just forget that bit and bury it beneath the other stuff.


He's certainly showing his age. He'd look a lot better if they embalm him.
fartcatcher

I thought it was stunning. Particularly the industrial revolution bit, the drummers and the history of Brit music.

This twat didn't like it though

http://www.independent.co.uk/spor...ening-ceremony-tweet-7984503.html
Forest

Today I have watched a cornucopia of sport on the 24 free HD channels.

Well done BBC, whoever said the licence wasn't worth the money wants deporting.
Forest

Some great names taking part today, US goalie Hope Solo and aussie ping pong player Meiow Meiow (spelling?).
Plastic Man

Forest wrote:
...and aussie ping pong player Meiow Meiow (spelling?).
Do you think the dope testers are more likely to target people called after a synonym for the stimulant “meow meow” (mephedrone ).
Late Doors

Forest wrote:
Today I have watched a cornucopia of sport on the 24 free HD channels.

Well done BBC, whoever said the licence wasn't worth the money wants deporting.


have you a preferreed destination?
Forest

Late Doors wrote:
Forest wrote:
Today I have watched a cornucopia of sport on the 24 free HD channels.

Well done BBC, whoever said the licence wasn't worth the money wants deporting.


have you a preferreed destination?


Abroad
bearing

fartcatcher wrote:
I thought it was stunning. Particularly the industrial revolution bit, the drummers and the history of Brit music.

This twat didn't like it though

http://www.independent.co.uk/spor...ening-ceremony-tweet-7984503.html


That twat is the MP for Cannock Chase
bearing

The lass from Otley did well, great silver medal.

Well done Lizzie
fartcatcher

I thought Armitstead sounded a bit Yorkshire.
sheeps

bearing wrote:
fartcatcher wrote:
I thought it was stunning. Particularly the industrial revolution bit, the drummers and the history of Brit music.

This twat didn't like it though

http://www.independent.co.uk/spor...ening-ceremony-tweet-7984503.html


That twat is the MP for Cannock Chase


Of course.

Anyway, fantastic bit o' telly, proud to be British moment. I shall be watching over again this week.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

oooooh - theres been a stewards inquiry in the mens gymnastics by Japan who have overtaken GB to silver  
bearing

Fucking fascists!
Heyho

My mates daughter was competing in the 3m synchro diving final on sunday. They did a very creditable 7th. She's only 15 so got plenty more ahead of her.

Camera zoomed in on my mate as he had his head forward and in his hands shaking it. I texted him and said '8 billion people watching you and that's what they see'.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

am I alone in thinking arresting someone for telling Tom Daley on Twitter that he 'let his dad down' is a bit much? the said troll then was subjected to abuse and death threats - havent heard of them then getting arrested
grunt

This Tim Jeeby is doing alright isn't he? Just won his 4th medal, this one in eventing.
grunt

Best Korea kicking Inferior Korea's arse in the medal table so far.
Forest

Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
am I alone in thinking arresting someone for telling Tom Daley on Twitter that he 'let his dad down' is a bit much? the said troll then was subjected to abuse and death threats - havent heard of them then getting arrested


I think there was more to it than that, but if they arrested all the stupid bastards on the internet the prisons woud be quite busy.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

Forest wrote:
Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
am I alone in thinking arresting someone for telling Tom Daley on Twitter that he 'let his dad down' is a bit much? the said troll then was subjected to abuse and death threats - havent heard of them then getting arrested


I think there was more to it than that, but if they arrested all the stupid bastards on the internet the prisons woud be quite busy.


my mistake! there was a lot more to it from this daft lad - some of it quite nasty

http://thedigitalreport.net/2012/...-abuse-by-twitter-user-rileyy_69/
bearing

grunt wrote:
Best Korea kicking Inferior Korea's arse in the medal table so far.


Any romantic pictures of Olympic athletes?
grunt

bearing wrote:
grunt wrote:
Best Korea kicking Inferior Korea's arse in the medal table so far.


Any romantic pictures of Olympic athletes?


You mean ones with their norks out?
bearing

grunt wrote:
bearing wrote:
grunt wrote:
Best Korea kicking Inferior Korea's arse in the medal table so far.


Any romantic pictures of Olympic athletes?


You mean ones with their norks out?


No you barm cake, bleeding North Korean athletes in a beautiful North Korean Vista.
Dock

Forest wrote:
Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
am I alone in thinking arresting someone for telling Tom Daley on Twitter that he 'let his dad down' is a bit much? the said troll then was subjected to abuse and death threats - havent heard of them then getting arrested


I think there was more to it than that, but if they arrested all the stupid bastards on the internet the prisons woud be quite busy.


*does time with no chance of parole*

Since the games have started I actaully think that I could have got into it but the build up and the hype the Beeb have given it since last year has totally killed it for me. It has become a victim of its own publicity.

As for the doping scandals and the possible match fixing of the badminton by the Chinese and South Korea, its just a very sad state of affairs.
Grind

Shurrlecogs!
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

Forest

Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:


two more golds today!!! Its turning into a golden shower.
fartcatcher

I will deny ever saying this in a couple of months time but:

I think Boris has been pretty good so far. His ebullience has added far more to the occasion than Livingstone's mordant wit would have.

His put down of Mutt Romney was brilliant, the gag about naming the cable car after Vince Cable was a good effort, and he is happy being interviewed by the press whilst dangling from a jammed zip wire.

Also watch out for Lady Godiva at the weekend. A huge puppet replica (a bit like the one in another brick in the wall) is being pulled to the Olympic stadium by a fleet of 16 tricycles. Not sure whether it is naked or not.

This is Coventry's contribution to the olympic celebrations.

You heard it here first.
fartcatcher

I realise now i should have put this in the Boris and Ken thread.
fartcatcher

OLympic Report (second hand)

Mrs FC and offspring 1 went to watch the dressage. That's the one where the horses do tap dancing. It was at Greenwich.

They applied for tickets to about 12 events and these were the only ones they got.

They only saw one G4S guy all the time they were there. All the security was done by the Navy. I do hope Seb Coe asks for his (our) money back.

They said transport was ok, queues weren't too bad, no-one was rude to them and the food was reasonably priced.
They would both make the GB Olympic moaning team so it must have been good.

They saw Mitt Romney's mrs and Mitt Romney's mrs' horse. She wasn't on it.

Any points?
Late Doors

Who is this Romney guy ? First he's a Mutt then he s  a Mitt..  No use begging for points Fc, you aren't getting any.

Nice to hear the moaners enjoyed their trip though  
Grind

His real name is Willard.
Late Doors

 well it would be wouldn't it
smiling badger

The extra large shorts that they wear whilst playing Basket ball.
Silly or what?
Forest

smiling badger wrote:
The extra large shorts that they wear whilst playing Basket ball.
Silly or what?


Yes. Bikini briefs would be much more sexier sensible
smiling badger

I take it that you are watching womens Basketball?
smiling badger

And whats with all the fookin silly music in it. Reminds me of Gladiators.
Forest

smiling badger wrote:
I take it that you are watching womens Basketball?


I was. Get on ch 457 beach volleyball
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

I was eulogising about why I adored Jessica Ennis tongiht to a lovely scouser DJ called Lauren from Liverpool - we ended up having a snog - thanks Jessica!
bearing

Is Lauren Laverne from Liverpool?
Forest

Another to add to the Olympic Silly name list is South Koreas goalie Lee Bumyoung.
grunt

Mahboob in the 10000m.
grunt

Did anyone see Mahboob in the 10000m?
grunt

About halfway through the 10000m Mahboob dropped out.
Late Doors

Wow. what a day, fab, almost feel a bit proud.
Grind

Let's hope she cambered in the right direction or her chance of a World Record could've gone completely humongous tits-like-coconuts juggedy nork funbags-up.
grunt

Late Doors wrote:
Wow. what a day, fab, almost feel a bit proud.


Yeah but then they play that dreary old bullshit anthem and ruin the moment.
Grind

Mahboob was supposedly so proud you could hang your coats off her.
Grind

Late Doors wrote:
Wow. what a day, fab, almost feel a bit proud.


Did we win something then?

That'll fuck up the father-in-law's budget - he's collecting those first day cover things.  
grunt

It puts the fragile pampered egos of footballers into proper perspective. What a bunch of arseholes they are. They really don't deserve all the attention we give them. I vote we give up football, Who's with me?
Late Doors

grunt wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
Wow. what a day, fab, almost feel a bit proud.


Yeah but then they play that dreary old bullshit anthem and ruin the moment.


Indeed, It is the worst part. It's when all the tears come out and the kettles come on.
Grind

grunt wrote:
It puts the fragile pampered egos of footballers into proper perspective. What a bunch of arseholes they are. They really don't deserve all the attention we give them. I vote we give up football, Who's with me?


We're Leeds fans, we gave it up a long time ago.  
grunt

Grind wrote:
grunt wrote:
It puts the fragile pampered egos of footballers into proper perspective. What a bunch of arseholes they are. They really don't deserve all the attention we give them. I vote we give up football, Who's with me?


We're Leeds fans, we gave it up a long time ago.  


Yes we can still follow Leeds, that doesn't count.
Grind

What is it, this "football" you talk about?
Late Doors

I actually cheered when ooh jahh missed his penalty. Forgot his name already
fartcatcher

1. I don't really like watching the judo. It seems a bit uncouth the way they try and pull each others jackets off before they start fighting each other.

2. One of the chinese gymnasts is called Dong Dong. As is a noodle bar in Oxford.

3. Greg Rutherford bears an uncanny resemblance to Harry and Wills. Not suggesting anything.

4. Colin Jackson cliche count > Team GB medal count
bearing

There's a Yoo Suk Kim in the Men's Pole vault, he's from Naughty Korea.
grunt

Scotch Andy kicks Roger Fondant's arse for gold. Woop.  
grunt

Will he sing God Save the Queen?
grunt

grunt wrote:
Will he sing God Save the Queen?


He did n'all.


Not convincingly though  
Grind

He's a solid Brit and no mistake, is that lovable Muzzer.
fartcatcher

100,000 condoms

10,000 athletes

Do the maths
Grind

Hop, skip and buggery.
grunt

fartcatcher wrote:
100,000 condoms

10,000 athletes

Do the maths


About 20 shags each over 16 days.
Grind

Twenty shags each over sixteen days?

Guesses it must be a marathon and not a sprint.
bearing

grunt wrote:
fartcatcher wrote:
100,000 condoms

10,000 athletes

Do the maths


About 20 shags each over 16 days.


Are they washing and reusing then?
Grind

One of the Septics here was gloating about the US medal tally, saying we'd only won our medals in a couple of events.

I then had to point out that virtually half of their medals so far have come from swimming - a sport for freaks if ever there was one.........
bearing

Grind wrote:
One of the Septics here was gloating about the US medal tally, saying we'd only won our medals in a couple of events.

I then had to point out that virtually half of their medals so far have come from swimming - a sport for freaks if ever there was one.........


Did you also point out the population ratio?

By the way Yorkshire up to 10th place on the medals table.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

All joking and cynicism aside it is amazing what our boys and girls have achieved in the last week

small island, big noise and all that
fartcatcher

Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
All joking and cynicism aside it is amazing what our boys and girls have achieved in the last week

small island, big noise and all that


Must admit. I started off as a bit of a prophet of doom (i know it's out of character) particularly after the security and ticketing problems.

I think these Olympics have given more prominence to some of the minority sports, and have been all the better for it.

Found myself cheering on the showjumpers yesterday.  
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

them lads from Bramhope, Leeds (or Horsforth, Leeds if you are listening to the Post Office.... or Bingley....or Haworth....or Bradford if you are reading the Telegraph and Argus) who won medals in Triathalon - that is proper hardcore endurance and you can't take that away from them by arguing the horse did it, or the bike or boat was technologically superior. Proper sporting achievement against the best the world can throw at us
Plastic Man

Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
them lads from Bramhope, Leeds (or Horsforth, Leeds if you are listening to the Post Office.... or Bingley....or Haworth....or Bradford if you are reading the Telegraph and Argus) who won medals in Triathalon - that is proper hardcore endurance and you can't take that away from them by arguing the horse did it, or the bike or boat was technologically superior. Proper sporting achievement against the best the world can throw at us


I agree - outstanding pure human endeavour.

To avoid future confusion, and considering the lads spend much of their time cavorting around the neighbourhood i.e. the public bit of the Chevin (obviously not on my estate - I can't be doing with those worker types trampling through the undergrowth and upsetting the grouse thereby spoiling it for us proper sporting types i.e. the guns) that I'm claiming them for Otley.

I propose breeding them with that local lass, Lizzie Armistead. And maybe let them have a go with that Jessica Ennis as well if she's in season to broaden the gene pool.

I've sent Eddie to collect the golden post box and install it at the bottom of the drive. It will save a journey to the post office.
Plastic Man

Magda informs me that the tally of one gold, one silver and one bronze medal from the Earldom of Otley currently places it joint 35th in the Olympic medal table with Georgia and Norway.

Which is jolly good.



Inspired by this medal success, Eddie has invented a new sport which he hopes will be adopted for the next games in Brazil. It's a combination of BMX biking, rapid fire pistol shooting and marathon drinking.

While it does look jolly exciting, it's rather making a mess of the lawn.
sheeps




*gets training, shoots self in foot, falls off bike, drinks gallon*

So far so good.
fartcatcher

Still waiting for Birdingbury to pick up it's first medal.

Great shame that gurning, morris dancing, water divining and dwile flonking never made the cut.
sheeps

Nicola Adams the boxer, well done lass.

Gritty Northern gold medal, Mick will be so proud.
grunt

Sussex has won a medal too.
Dock

I watched the Nic Adams fight. Nevermind a good female boxer, she's a good boxer full stop. Brilliant win for a great lass. Role model for any young kid. What a down to earth positive individual. Haven't watched much of the games and have felt sick at the constant BBC analysis but I have enjoyed the martial arts, boxing, and endurance stuff like the female and male triathlons. Oh, and the dressage as well. I liked that but don't know if I'd say it was a 'proper' sport. A bit like racing, it's its own thing and half the effort is by the animal. I think the Olympics should just be about human effort. As for sailing, just fuck off.

PS Has anybody heard the Dizzee Rascal post-Olympics single. It's fucking ace (but not as good as 'Bonkers' IMHO)

That is all.
Dock

GO MO!
Forest

Dock wrote:
GO MO!


He was incredible.


Its been quite good this Olympics.
grunt

I don't care for Elbow.
grunt

Turns out we're shit at music.
Forest

grunt wrote:
I don't care for Elbow.


You waiting for Dizzee to come on?
grunt

Is this him?
Forest

grunt wrote:
Is this him?


No its Tinie Tempah innit.
grunt

It's official, Britain is embarrassing again.
grunt

Forest wrote:
grunt wrote:
Is this him?


No its Tinie Tempah innit.


Er.. brrap!
grunt

This is the worst thing I have ever witnessed.
Forest

grunt wrote:
This is the worst thing I have ever witnessed.


Cant stop watching it though can you?
grunt

Forest wrote:
grunt wrote:
This is the worst thing I have ever witnessed.


Cant stop watching it though can you?


I do seem to be watching it.
Forest

grunt wrote:
Forest wrote:
grunt wrote:
This is the worst thing I have ever witnessed.


Cant stop watching it though can you?


I do seem to be watching it.


Like watching a car crash.
grunt

Now I seem to be watching Jessie J's arse.

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