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fartcatcher

Leeds v Dog Botherers

Not a great result

Aidy White's first league goal though  
smiling badger

Our season well and truely over now. Been reading that Colin has already told our new owners who he thinks should replace him.
Dread to think who!
Let more of the youngsters see the rest of the season out now and give them some experience.
fartcatcher

I think Colin's mind is on retirement now. Looking forward to harvesting his crop of new potatoes on the smallholding.
Late Doors

There was none of the usual tension surrounding this fixture for us Pennine Whites. I think it's a combination of a few factors. We laid a few ghosts to rest back in December at their place. That and the slurry end our season has already ground to being the main reasons. Early Kick off so no pre match bevvies and a lift straight to the ground to be met with some bizarre white A3 sheet strapped to our seats that we were supposed to hold aloft when the teams came out. Already the Elastics bands were being flung around like an adolescent class room lead by a student teacher.

Michaels Dawson and 18 year old from Mirfield was one of the subs but the biggest concern to me was the absence of Morison and Ross leading to an instant concern over where the goals were going to come from. The teams changed ends as thousands of pieces of white flew around in shapes ranging from ripped up confetti to all kinds of paper aeroplanes. Most nose diving onto the shoulders of other fans whilst only one glided gracefully onto the grass behind the goal. I don't think the Gelderd End Origami team are going to be troubling the European super leagues either in the immediate future.
We kicked off and Sam Byrom immediately attacked the full back but lost the initiative. Austin won an early midfield tussle before Hudders broke with a cross field pass and a cross into the box that we cleared.  Austin produced a great ball right to Sam who found Diouff to gain a corner. The near post header rattled the cross bar and Hudders broke that Warnock ended with a foul. Habbidou moments later collected a yellow card for a clumsy trip.

Tonge made a good run with no end product leaving Diouff to unnecessarily carry on arguing with the ref over an off side decision to our right. Meanwhile we broke again down the right through Sam but Varney's shot was well saved for another corner. Varney finishing the pressure with a tame scooped shot way over the bar but by now we were the team in control with an almost casual dominance. Austin maintained that with a surge down the right that ended with Tonge getting a booking for a lunge on the full back. Moments later the same player made a cute inside pass for Sam to run onto but the ball ran out into dead.

Green gave the ball away cheaply to put us under pressure that we cleared but Hudders came back hitting the cross bar to boost their moral. Diouff then capitalised on a slip but didn't find Varney's good run much to Varney's annoyance and the keeper collected his weak cross into the box.

By now our early dominance was beginning to diminish as Hudders won a free kick on the edge of the box. Diouff broke from our clearance but couldn't get a cross in. There was only Paul Green in the box anyway.

Varney was next into the book for another trip and then failed to get on the end of a decent Green Pass. The Kops attention however was on Beckford running along the touchline to collect the generous chants. Meanwhile on the pitch Austin was looking like the player we saw at the beginning of the season winning a dangerous free kick that the keeper only just punched for a corner. Hudders broke from it for Diouff to give away a foul for what appeared to be a terrific tackle. The same player was then on the wrong end of a foul that merited a yellow card but didn't get one . The game got a little feisty with the Hudders full back getting knocked over the advertising boards in front of the East Stand as the odds on us finishing with 11 men shortened.  Austin made another good surge but the resultant cross was too deep for Varney at the far post.

Clayton then produced a shot way too high to remind us that he had a point to prove. Your just a shit Michael Brown was the muted chant. We had a short period of good albeit horizontal possession ending with a good through ball into the box that Habbidou and Byrom both went for and won a corner.
As the half moved into its final few minutes Varney made a run down the left but again the final delivery lacked quality. 2 mins added time were announced. Enough for us to come close with a Varney header and Hudders to come closer forcing  a terrific Save from Paddy to end the half in a flurry of action.

Time for Marche Dean Man and boy to get the sarnies out. I think about 50% ended up in the mouths with the rest falling onto the Kop floor. It seems young MD boy is rapidly gaining his father's talent for decoration the Concrete Kop floor with waste food and wrapping paper. MDM then announced he was treating MD Lady next weekend for the international break to a day out in Fleetwood to watch them play Dagenham and tick another ground of his list. Wooing and courting in the far flung Stretches of Marsden is world class when it comes treating the ladies. Meanwhile Pieman was telling us that "the Boiler" (A Denby Dale term of endearment for a special lady friend)was requesting a day out on the same Saturday with him. Why would i want to waste a free  Saturday like that he asked astonished.  

We left  aside the debonair and suaveness off West Yorks Romance as the teams came out for the second half .
Tom Lees as last man cleared the first Hudders break and Varney took a great ball down only to waste the pass . A period of complete carelessness followed as we looked to lose all concentration . Both Austin and Tonge being particularly guilty. The away support was starting to believe also as they turned the noise level up. Foul up after foul up erupted around our defence as a loose ball in our box was pounced on for  the equaliser.
Two subs immediately looked like they were about to appear and indeed White and Hall replaced Habby habby doo and Incredibly Paul Green as Diouff seemed set to continue his tired slow threat up front. First impact was a Hudders shot that brought ooohs from the away support but was harmless. We hit back with a long diagonal ball into the box that White capitalised on heading in the equaliser.

Hudders responded and could have had a penalty if their lad had taken the fall, instead we managed to clear and Tonge wriggled into their box with the ball to gain a corner that was too easily cleared. Our early good set pieces were by now reduced to wasted weak deliveries either too short or  too deep. To me that only increased my frustration as to why Diouff was still on the pitch. Varney took a silly fall in the box hoping to win a penalty but it was desperate as Hudders continued to close us down and harang our midfield. They were also winning all the contested balls in midfield and indeed all around the pitch. This led us to give balls away cheaply and get frustrated. Tragically there was no release up front either and we all said we would happily have settled for the draw by then.

Hall did manage to deliver a great cross into the danger area but there was not a white shirt within yards of it. A Diouff corner was met by Byrom with a header into dead followed by another attack and cross easily collected by the keeper. Paddy cleared awkwardly and responded to the Kops frustration with  mouthed FO.  

Beckford then came on as sub on 75 mins to instil an ominous dread. Our response was a screaming Yeboahaesque volley from Austin that banged the underside of the bar and hit  the keepers back only for it to be cleared. It was very unlucky. Several alternating breaks from both teams ensued but we looked most vulnerable and least likely to penetrate. Varney had a header saved and Austin scuffed a good chance. Paddy made friends with the Kop with a thumbs up following warm appreciation of a good clearance . Beckford showed us what he could do with a good hold and shot that Paddy saved. Our following attack broke down way  to easily and Hudders hit us with a smart break that even Paddy couldn't prevent finding the net to leave us 1-2 down and the away support in delirious celebration .

4 mins added time followed and time for a last push but all we could muster was a corner and a very poor scooped shot from Byrom after another corner found him in space to do better. The game ended with the away support seemingly believing they had just won promotion. I looked up at the faces still in the Kop as we headed to the steps. All despondent, morose and down beaten. I drew a line under this season at Barnsley, some it seemed still had hope before this game. A fans eternal optimism eh?. A sizeable portion of the crowd were calling for Warnock to go now rather than the end of the season. In the spirit of this eternal optimism it's going to be another Summer of scouring the transfer gossip and the inevitable management replacement for yours truly.

On the plus side i did manage to have a splendid afternoon and tea time following the game. A couple in the Midnight Bell and then into Town to meet MrsD who had been to the Theatre. Our plan for a couple of beers and a Thai morphed into a couple of Beers and then more beers as The Duck n Drake, the foul smelling farty aftermath of football fans spoiling the  Taps and then the  Brewery Taps provided some quality anaesthetic to the days disappointment .
Nyles O Cranium

I think we'll have new new owners this summer.

Thanks for the write up LD, though I'll be honest enough to say that I skimmed through it  What do you think to Kenny talling someone in the Kop to fuck off for having the cheek to criticise him for slicing a clearance out of play?
fartcatcher

thanks LD.

Too many points dropped against teams that were hopelessly out of form.

We're like a footballing fairy godmother. Making their wish for three points come true.
Late Doors

Nyles O Cranium wrote:
I think we'll have new new owners this summer.

Thanks for the write up LD, though I'll be honest enough to say that I skimmed through it  What do you think to Kenny talling someone in the Kop to fuck off for having the cheek to criticise him for slicing a clearance out of play?


i think it was general FO to the whole Kop for the mass groan when he took a back pass on his wrong foot and had to adjust. It sailed into touch. I think he was as annoyed as the rest of us. He made up for it later though. As i said in the Rep. Appreciate the honesty, yer lazy git  
Frazier Cranium



Got a lot to do today, and none of it being done quickly due to hangover and now I've done my ankle in somehow!
Plastic Man

So Leeds had Green, White and Brown playing for them, and I assume they were playing in white using a white ball.

Obviously there was a potential for yellow or red cards to be shown.

Were Huddersfield playing in blue?

Were any players of Afro-Caribbean origin playing?

If so, you would have only needed one player to have come out of closet, and you could have been playing "Soccer Snooker"*!

*(C) Plastic Man
Frazier Cranium

Brown didn't play but it is the colour of that comic routine you've just presented, PM
smiling badger

Thanks for the write up, LD.

That Mr Cranium has some neck doesnt he?
Just 'skimming' through LD's fine report and slating, PM's gags!
Frazier Cranium

I went to the game, I have a right to not read reports on it
smiling badger

Fair do's.
But knocking PM's comedy routines..
fartcatcher

Quote:
I went to the game, I have a right to not read reports on it


I can see the logic in that. It's like suffering the pain twice.
Heyho

fartcatcher wrote:
I think Colin's mind is on retirement now. Looking forward to harvesting his crop of new potatoes on the smallholding.


Do you know what variety he has planted?
Frazier Cranium

Two midfielders and a striker.
fartcatcher

Heyho wrote:
fartcatcher wrote:
I think Colin's mind is on retirement now. Looking forward to harvesting his crop of new potatoes on the smallholding.


Do you know what variety he has planted?


there is a variety called Bremner

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