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Dock

Late Doors Retirement Lump Sum

Letís spend it! He canít have that much to buy. Electric gate maintenance, tickets for gigs, tickets for the Marx Brothers-like football team he follows, a few light ales etc.

That leaves a lot left in the pot for the rest of us. We could finally get Sheeps his long-overdue brain transplant, a new spray-job for Badgerís scooter, or a thoroughbred racehorse for me inc. livery and stable fees for two years. Any suggestions on how to spend all his money?
sheeps

Beer.
smiling badger

As said, a spray job on my scooter. And maybe a side car so i can fit all my kids on it.
Thanks, LD.

Bloody good bloke that you are.
fartcatcher

The Birdingbury Social Club could do with a cash injection.
bearing

fartcatcher wrote:
The Birdingbury Social Club could do with a cash injection.


He could pay to get rid of all that shit up your road.
Late Doors

 Ha ha, I am genuinely very excited and slightly nervous about it. I'm afraid the fund will only just sustain our own minor hedonism though. If we have any left ill put it towards the Birdingbury clean  up fund
fartcatcher

Late Doors wrote:
†Ha ha, I am genuinely very excited and slightly nervous about it. I'm afraid the fund will only just sustain our own minor hedonism though. If we have any left ill put it towards the Birdingbury clean †up fund


Good man LD. I will bestow the freedom of Birdingbury upon you.
Dock

fartcatcher wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
†Ha ha, I am genuinely very excited and slightly nervous about it. I'm afraid the fund will only just sustain our own minor hedonism though. If we have any left ill put it towards the Birdingbury clean †up fund


Good man LD. I will bestow the freedom of Birdingbury upon you.


Fucking fix! What about my racehorse? This is bullshit. I'll appeal this. just see if I don't!

*phones Admin*
Forest

Dock wrote:
fartcatcher wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
†Ha ha, I am genuinely very excited and slightly nervous about it. I'm afraid the fund will only just sustain our own minor hedonism though. If we have any left ill put it towards the Birdingbury clean †up fund


Good man LD. I will bestow the freedom of Birdingbury upon you.


Fucking fix! What about my racehorse? This is bullshit. I'll appeal this. just see if I don't!

*phones Admin*


*picks up phone*

'Hello this is Admin.........racehorse?..........sorrree me speakee no Inglish Wong number mister ...no one here....goodbye'
Grind

Birdingbury has been renamed Turdingbury through an EU directive.
bearing

Dock wrote:
fartcatcher wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
†Ha ha, I am genuinely very excited and slightly nervous about it. I'm afraid the fund will only just sustain our own minor hedonism though. If we have any left ill put it towards the Birdingbury clean †up fund


Good man LD. I will bestow the freedom of Birdingbury upon you.


Fucking fix! What about my racehorse? This is bullshit. I'll appeal this. just see if I don't!

*phones Admin*


I think it was human shit Dock.
Dock

Forest wrote:
Dock wrote:
fartcatcher wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
†Ha ha, I am genuinely very excited and slightly nervous about it. I'm afraid the fund will only just sustain our own minor hedonism though. If we have any left ill put it towards the Birdingbury clean †up fund


Good man LD. I will bestow the freedom of Birdingbury upon you.


Fucking fix! What about my racehorse? This is bullshit. I'll appeal this. just see if I don't!

*phones Admin*


*picks up phone*

'Hello this is Admin.........racehorse?..........sorrree me speakee no Inglish Wong number mister ...no one here....goodbye'


BASTARD! You used that last month when I phoned complaining about some wag scrawling 'DOCK LIKES BUMMING MONKEYS' on the office toilet wall. One day somebody is going to take me seriously. I'm logging all this.

*logs this*
Grind

* Slips on banana skin. *

** At least he thinks it's a banana skin. **
Late Doors

Well official notice went in on Monday to finish just before Christmas this year. I'm mid fifties, worked all my life, we think we can manage. No beef at all with work who have treated me very well these last 38 years ( and vice versa i might add) it's just time for a change.

You can agonize, plan, assess, calculate and analyze all you like but like every decision and choice i have made in life, if it feels right, it is right, and it does. Or as the Venerable Bede once put it, "fuck it, let's do it"
fartcatcher

I've certainly enjoyed my semi-retirement. Although mine was forced on me to some extent, it was definitely the right time. I was offered a good deal to f off and there was no ill feeling on either side. It's much better if you can part on good terms. Like a separation by mutual agreement rather than a messy divorce.
Late Doors

Well that all went rather well. Had a fantastic send off yesterday. Terrific presentation albeit tarnished by a nasty robbery at my bosses house the night before. Not only did the horrible twats steal his car, the car had stuff in it they were going to give to me apparently.

My favourite director gave the speech and invited me to say a few words. Twenty odd minutes later I was wrapping up with fond thanks, farewells, best wishes and see you arounds. It must have gone down well as people were still laughing about it late on into the night.

Shoulder of Mutton for two o'clock, then the Rat from five till late, friends and †colleagues coming and going throughout. It was absolutely †brilliant. Got home about midnight very happy and content that id done a good job of leaving and no regrets at all.
Plastic Man

Late Doors wrote:
Terrific presentation albeit tarnished by a nasty robbery at my bosses house the night before. Not only did the horrible twats steal his car, the car had stuff in it they were going to give to me apparently.


No doubt these gifts included a diamond-encrusted Rolex and a life season ticket for Elland Road.

Shame about the watch.

But look on the bright side - you had a lucky escape with the other theft...
Late Doors

Ha ha, they know i don't have an ostentatious life style and wouldn't dream of getting me a lifetime season ticket.
fartcatcher

Enjoy yourself LD. A little part time job and a bit of volunteering keeps me out of trouble.

No excuses for not mowing the lawn now though.
sheeps

The old 'car's been stolen' ruse eh?

Congratulations and enjoy M.
Heyho

God I am so jealous LD. A 100% definite new years resolution to get out of where I am but when you have spent a quarter of a century somewhere its a fucking scary thought.

But when you know your health is being affected by constant mind games that are done to lose you your self esteem and confidence (and which are really bullying and harassment!) then you have to take the preverbial bull by the horns and move on. So sad really. Thing is you start to think of yourself as some washed out early 50's year old so getting that job that is still financially at the level you are now (hopeful to be mortgage free soon and want to move house) is very very hard.

I genuinely wish you well.
Late Doors

Cheers H. Its very hard feeling trapped in a place you dont want to be and it takes a plan and determinaion to get out after so long, not easy.

Two major changes have happened so far. Instead of 5-7 hours sleep per night im getting 8-10 and its fecking ace.

Also i am cutting my sandwiches diagonally from corner to corner instead of straight across the middle, or not at all.
Frazier Cranium

2002 I jacked in proper work.  Both the best and daftest decision I made.  Came to the conclusion that my job was going nowhere, even though I was on a good earner, and that it was adding to poor health.

I took Voluntary Redundancy, got about a year's pay when I left, and never looked back, so to speak.  It's been a bumpy journey ever since but I'm glad I got out.

LD, let us know if you're ever up for a lunchtime meet in Leeds  Could possibly do Hudders too, especially if my next publisher is based there.
Late Doors

Certainly will Codge,either sounds good. I have to say my descision to jack was easier than others with me not having other commitments
Late Doors

Other major changes taking place are the disappearing of Sunday Roast Dinner cravings on a Sunday and a pathological annoyance towards Shaun Keaveny on a morning
Late Doors

Other changes, since you asked

I'm drinking fruit ( and veg) smoothies with the aid of a nutrabullet juicer. I had no problem eating fruit at work, it broke up the boredom but I was struggling at home. They are ace, highly recommended.

Now, I still am always happy with my own company in or out but I really enjoy having a chat with anyone,anywhere now. Before, I used to sometimes avoid it especially after a crap day but now its one of life's pleasures.
Late Doors

In another major development i have noticed i seem to be adding a tad more milk to my tea than i used to
Grind

Probably not the greatest idea, but the local supermarket (which is in the process of turning itself into a co-operative of some sort) now sells raw milk in bottles, which tastes well yummy to me. *

One of the cows from the farm in question escaped a few years back and was happily wandering around my back garden, much to the consternation of my older border collie, which escalates to Defcon 5 mental at the sight of a chipmunk, let alone (in order of increasing pitch) squirrels, wild turkeys and deer.

* Given that I used to work in the summer holidays on a "research" farm (where everything was supposed to be cleaner and better organised) and routinely used to see milking machines drop onto the ground to suck up any unsuspecting fresh cowpats, I should really know better.
Plastic Man

Grind wrote:
Probably not the greatest idea, but the local supermarket (which is in the process of turning itself into a co-operative of some sort) now sells raw milk in bottles, which tastes well yummy to me.


I think the equivalent in the UK is described as "green top" milk, which I believe for health/legal reasons (worries over TB infection) can only be sold directly from the farmer to consumer, i.e. not via supermarkets.

I remember that sterilised milk (aka "Sterra") despite tasting dreadful, was a major seller in Birmingham in the 1980s, presumably because it was still being considered as reducing the risk of contracting TB, despite the fact the world had moved on.

As a kid, I would have been offered milk straight from the cow when visiting relatives on dairy farms in Ireland. I wasn't overly keeen as I prefer it chilled.
fartcatcher

I remember when I first went to Birmingham, going to a corner shop and asking for a pint of milk.
The response was 'Stera or Past?.

luckily I can point.

Stera lasts longer and in the 70s a lot of Brummies still didn't have fridges.

You can get something called Brucellosis from drinking unpasteurised milk. It makes your chin grow.
Late Doors

Up in Marsden they used to get their milk direct as it were. It was a 5% chance that it would be the bull but the bull didn't seem to mind
Dalek

fartcatcher wrote:


You can get something called Brucellosis from drinking unpasteurised milk. It makes your chin grow.


Nice to drink it - to drink it nice?!    (Good one FC!)
Late Doors

Spent the last of my retirement gift vouchers at Jumbo's yesterday. Would you like to know the full list of what I got with them? Thought you would. I said I was going to get classic stuff that passed me by originally, stuff I've been meaning to check out for ages, re mastered extended loved stuff and CD replacements for loved but poor quality vinyl

Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band. The Spotlight Kid/Clear Spot
Drive-By Truckers, Southern Rock Opera
Love, Forever Changes
Link Wray & His Ray Men, The Essential Early Recordings
The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Axis: Bold As Love
The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Electric Ladyland
Jeff Beck, Truth (digitally remastered with bonus tracks)
My Morning Jacket, It Still Moves (Deluxe Edition)
Ryan Adams, Heartbreaker (2016 Deluxe Edition)
Dr. Feelgood, Gettin' Their Kicks At The BBC With Wilko Johnson 1973-75
Big Star,#1 Record
CAN, Anthology
Bob Dylan, Blonde On Blonde
Teenage Fanclub, Bandwagonesque
Ramones, Leave Home [Bonus Tracks]

A pretty impressive list if I say so myself and still had 5p change
Heyho

Heyho wrote:
God I am so jealous LD. A 100% definite new years resolution to get out of where I am but when you have spent a quarter of a century somewhere its a fucking scary thought.

But when you know your health is being affected by constant mind games that are done to lose you your self esteem and confidence (and which are really bullying and harassment!) then you have to take the preverbial bull by the horns and move on. So sad really. Thing is you start to think of yourself as some washed out early 50's year old so getting that job that is still financially at the level you are now (hopeful to be mortgage free soon and want to move house) is very very hard.

I genuinely wish you well.


About 60 job applications since I made that statement, and 4 annoying gobby agency cunts telling me with my CV they can get me a job just like that.

If I get a reply they are mainly 'sorry two experienced' which considering the off job I have gone for is 6 figure salary I must be earning peanuts lol.

I suppose that 'it only takes one bite' and I'm out and just you wait for my resignation letter that keeps me going!!!!!
Frazier Cranium

Two experienced?
Heyho

Frazier Cranium wrote:
Two experienced?


As opposed to one experienced or three experienced

This site was far better when you pissed off and took your pedanticeveness with you lad.

And yes I know that isn't a word but it should be
Dock

Heyho wrote:
Frazier Cranium wrote:
Two experienced?


As opposed to one experienced or three experienced


Three potato four. Five potato six potato seven potato more.
Late Doors

yeah yeah yeah, what about my bloody list eh?

seriously, good luck H. Too experienced for a three figure salary. Blimey that explains some of the incompetent twats ive seen then who get that.
Frazier Cranium

Heyho wrote:
Frazier Cranium wrote:
Two experienced?


As opposed to one experienced or three experienced

This site was far better when you pissed off and took your pedanticeveness with you lad.

And yes I know that isn't a word but it should be


Dock

Late Doors wrote:
yeah yeah yeah, what about my bloody list eh?

seriously, good luck H. Too experienced for a three figure salary. Blimey that explains some of the incompetent twats ive seen then who get that.


Some stellar choices LD. Big Star, Love, and It Still Moves by MMJ. Prob my favourite album of theirs. Let me know what you think of that particular Link Wray cd. Might buy it on your say so. And to top it all off Blonde on Blonde by The Zimmer Man. Feckin' belter of an album if you ask me......I know you won't!
Late Doors

Yeah, Big Star get neme checked so many times by so many i had to get something by them. I saw the Link Wray cd in Sainsbury's for bloody 3.99 this weekend. Dont buy it pal, Father Christmas might be kind to you this year

ok calm yersen now (and Butts) but ive never been a Dylan fan as such. Got to admire him and the obvious cLassics are great but not checked out his albums and this one always comes out high in Greatest album of all time polls. Im still certain he did an album with the Band. We had this chat yonks ago and you both laughed me down . Before the Flood, i saw it in Jumbo's, Unless its with a Different "The Band"
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
Yeah, Big Star get neme checked so many times by so many i had to get something by them. I saw the Link Wray cd in Sainsbury's for bloody 3.99 this weekend. Dont buy it pal, Father Christmas might be kind to you this year

ok calm yersen now (and Butts) but ive never been a Dylan fan as such. Got to admire him and the obvious cLassics are great but not checked out his albums and this one always comes out high in Greatest album of all time polls. Im still certain he did an album with the Band. We had this chat yonks ago and you both laughed me down . Before the Flood, i saw it in Jumbo's, Unless its with a Different "The Band"


Blonde on Blonde is that good it even has it's own thread, FACT!

http://regdafishthinktank.myfreef...t8098.html&highlight=campfire
Grind

I was given a best of CD of Dylan a while back and, after initially saying, "What's this shit?" he has definitely grown on me over the years.

Might be time for me to investigate some of the source albums.

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