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Heyho

I am officially old?

So I've had three years playing at this 50 lark now. Have been reflecting on it recently and the more I think about it the more I feel out of place in this rat race they call life..

Firstly the back ground. Worked myself up into a semi decent position in the public sector, one that I thought was fine for me. I thought I did a half decent job. Then about 3 years ago basically my career ended. New person took over, clearly I wasn't part of the plans so as it's basically impossible to get rid of any one in the public sector the next best thing is to strip them of responsibility and dump them off into a corner. I didn't see it coming and embarrassingly I came close to a breakdown I think. I use the word embarrassingly as being ex Mr Grammar School boy you are taught in such a way to have broad shoulders. Anyway once I realised what was happening I could cope with it. It isn't nice but I know how to handle it. Even had a bit of counselling to ensure I didn't go down the 'chip on yer shoulder' route.

So 2016 came along and I decided it was going to be the year of the new job. Difficult because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Anyway about 60 applications later and not one interview (despite the usual gob shite recruitement agent telling me with my CV they'd have me a job tomorrow). About July time I got told not to put my DOB on my CV as it stops ageism!!!

The in built anger won't subside either. It's the little things. Take commuting to work. I got caught speeding the other week so took a speed awareness course. Subsequent to that I have decided to stay pretty much within the speed limit. So why the fuck do I get cars driving dangerously close, or undertaking me in 2+ lanes (when there is only one person in their car). And why do people insist on driving in the outside lane about 3 miles before the fucking junction.

There you go. I am officially old.
Dock

Re: I am officially old?

Heyho wrote:
So I've had three years playing at this 50 lark now. Have been reflecting on it recently and the more I think about it the more I feel out of place in this rat race they call life..

Firstly the back ground. Worked myself up into a semi decent position in the public sector, one that I thought was fine for me. I thought I did a half decent job. Then about 3 years ago basically my career ended. New person took over, clearly I wasn't part of the plans so as it's basically impossible to get rid of any one in the public sector the next best thing is to strip them of responsibility and dump them off into a corner. I didn't see it coming and embarrassingly I came close to a breakdown I think. I use the word embarrassingly as being ex Mr Grammar School boy you are taught in such a way to have broad shoulders. Anyway once I realised what was happening I could cope with it. It isn't nice but I know how to handle it. Even had a bit of counselling to ensure I didn't go down the 'chip on yer shoulder' route.

So 2016 came along and I decided it was going to be the year of the new job. Difficult because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Anyway about 60 applications later and not one interview (despite the usual gob shite recruitement agent telling me with my CV they'd have me a job tomorrow). About July time I got told not to put my DOB on my CV as it stops ageism!!!

The in built anger won't subside either. It's the little things. Take commuting to work. I got caught speeding the other week so took a speed awareness course. Subsequent to that I have decided to stay pretty much within the speed limit. So why the fuck do I get cars driving dangerously close, or undertaking me in 2+ lanes (when there is only one person in their car). And why do people insist on driving in the outside lane about 3 miles before the fucking junction.

There you go. I am officially old.


Re Inbuilt anger. The things you mention don't make you angry, YOU make you angry! Be good to yourself H. Don't sweat the small stuff. Try a book/cd combo on Mindfullness.

Take a step back lad!
sheeps

Difficult I know, just turn up and take the money H.

Fuck em, whatever happened to investing in people?
sheeps

And you are not old.

Dock is right, live for yersen (and those you love), I had a downturn in my life not too long ago but with help I picked missen up and now I am having a ball, even at this late stage.
carp

Easier said than done but yeah....fuck em
Heyho

Yeah you are right but its difficult. Difficult because I (and like the vast majority of public sector employees) actual fucking care about what they are doing and in my case that means indirectly helping (hopefully) patient care.

I just find as I get older I find it harder to suppress the anger aimed at the small minority who are fucking the system up because all they care about is their CV. You are right Dock its me and I need to control that anger. But when you see what a fuck up they are doing then the blood will boil.

I also don't want to become that pathetic overpaid old fart stuck in the corner basically contributing nothing. The public sector has a load of them! Don't get me wrong the majority could, if properly managed, be incredibly good.
carp

I understand the caring bit. Must be tough. Don't let the system crush you.

Sitting in hospital now waiting for Mrs C to be put out so some samples can be taken. Everyone from reception to porters to nurses have been brilliant so far.
Late Doors

Very hesitant at sticking an oar into other people's business, especially someone I don't really know and about complex things but chuff me what a load of "old" knackers. 53 ? Prime if your life H. OK so your dancing days are over, kicking or throwing a ball about a cherished memory and "three times a night" is more likely to be peeing but now is it. All you've learned about , loved and wanted to do is here, all around. We live in a brilliant country still, we are so lucky, 95% of people are decent good folk. There is just so much to enjoy.

Now then, that work thing. 'scuse my lofty thinking as I am no longer involved but I do feel your pain. I've said it before, work is war nowadays. It's not our fault, governments, corporations and a few very very greedy men with nothing else in their lives have made it that way and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You have to play the game, roll with the punches, give them value more money, nothing more, nothing less, get some little victories in, doesn't mean you have to stop caring either. Hold your head up high, be happy you haven't cheated anyone and that is the key. There is nothing you can do to change anything about the work environment and culture, you can only change how you manage it. Believe me I went through a similar thing in the eighties then early nineties as a fanatical British industry believer before it all changed so I'm coming with at least some empathy and experience.

If I had my time again from twenty years ago id have gone the solo-consultancy self employed rout but I know that leads to a whole other world of grief, graft and aggravation but I suspect that is the way these days.

Finally and maybe repeating the point
you said "this rat race THEY call life.. ". Well THEY can call it what they like its what you call it and more importantly what you make it that's important. Soz H im not underestimating your situation and i wouldnt bother if i didnt think you were a top lad.
Heyho

Hey LD you speak, as you most often do, wise words and I appreciate them. I am fully aware that I have my health, a decent house, great family (even the daughter) and a lot to look forward to.

I just don't want to become that sad twat they sit in the corner and everyone takes pity on. And I want the tax payer to get value for money for the salary I am on.
Frazier Cranium

There aren't enough corners in Reg Ltd to sit all us sad old bastards in
Late Doors

Heyho wrote:

I just don't want to become that sad twat they sit in the corner and everyone takes pity on. And I want the tax payer to get value for money for the salary I am on.


Indeed, you think you work for the product (Health care)and the customers (tax payers) but that is not the case for you or anybody working in organisations now. Organisations will fill their web sites and marketing with glib product excellence statements and customer focus platitude's but the internal reality is very different. Inside an organisation you work for arbitrary targets often simply dreamed up and bottom line financial targets. Everything else is incidental. The whole drive is cost reduction to maximise profit executed by ambitious careerists with no interest in anything other than their self preservation as targets are cascaded down to them and passed on until they reach the few people who actually do the work. It leads to an almost complacent indifference to the product which is simply seen as the commodity or worse an actual cost liability to the business. Then the hacking starts as impossible targets can't be reached, people and the product are dissected into units and assessed for their viability. Worse than that the blame game starts. Its happened everywhere in every sector public or private.

To make a stand for the old values is simply a denial of what is happening and you are powerless to affect it. It is that that will drive people to be the sad twat in the corner. I've seen it mate and only you can be in control of how you deal with it.

As for practical solutions I'm a massive believer in writing things down, making plans and organising things into categories of what you like, what is important, what you can change and what you can do absolutely nothing about. This method has helped me throughout my life. It has made me wrap up inconsequential shit and unimportant people into balls of nothing.

Get a piece of paper, write down EVERYTHING that is on your mind affecting you negatively or positively. Get another piece of paper and divide it into equal squares. The top of the paper is things you can change and the bottom is things you can't. The Right are things you like and the left  are things you don't. So for me the Tory government are in the bottom left corner of the paper.

Put everything you have listed somewhere on the square grid and hey presto you have a blue print for life. Make plans for everything that isn't in the bottom left corner and forget about them that are. It isn't quick or easy, two years working on it I reckon but it will pay off.

Those mindfulness books Dock was on about are good, as are the tapes. They didn't suit me but other people have had great results using them.
Cutsyke

Old? In my mind I'm not a million miles away from where I was at 18. Not in every way but most of them. I used to think my parents had all the answers. I now reckon, like the rest of us, they were winging it.

Clock in, do the job as well as you can, go home to your family and enjoy your life. One man's not going to right the wrongs of the world. Leave your job at work. See the plus side to it; less responsibility same money sounds like a good deal to me.

Get over your ex grammar school boy stiff upper lip BS. That type of thinking does no good. Eat right, sleep well, get some exercise. And good luck.
fartcatcher

I had a similar experience but with two differences - I was 58 and in the private sector. New boss came in and basically one way or the other their objective was to get rid of everyone over 50. I was told in a performance review that I was 'below expectations'.
It took me a while to twig what was going on. And I was helped greatly by colleagues who were in the same situation.
I also went off and had a chat with an ex-boss who I knew I could talk to off the record. He was honest with me, and effectively told me that the new management team regarded me as 'old school' and too set in my ways. In retrospect, I can see there was some truth in it. Anyway, they wanted me out.

it was particularly annoying as I'd just finished two years working my nuts off on a big transition programme.

I had to take a step back and decide what I was working for. It boiled down to pride and money. I had already survived four rounds of redundancy, so maybe my time was up. I wasn't enjoying work any longer, and didn't honestly feel that I fitted in with a new regime which seemed completely alien in the behaviour it valued.

I had to grit my teeth a bit at work, but there were others who felt the same way as I did and the sharing of the pain helped. Even at my age I still have a rebellious streak, and rather than withdrawing, I became more vocal and probably annoying. But it was my way of showing I wasn't beaten. I also threw myself into non work related activities, as much as a distraction as anything else.

In the end, a lifeline came. I was offered a VR/ER package - too good to turn down. They must have been desperate to get rid of me! I managed to find work fairly quickly. Nowhere near the salary, but no pressure either. Whether or not you can do this depends on the state of your personal finances. I'd paid off my mortgage.

Experience doesn't seem to be valued now. In fact in some industries it seems to be a positive fucking disadvantage. I don't know how we got to a situation where if you're over 50 you're assumed to be over the hill.

You have to tread carefully, but explore the possibilities of some sort of VR deal. It sounds to me that work is generating quite a lot of stress for you at the moment, and that's not good for the health.

I didn't realise I was under stress, until I stopped getting up at 6:30 to get into work at 7.15, to avoid the queues and to get a parking space, and then skipping lunch, staying late for meetings and catching up on my emails before I went to bed. It creeps up on you.

I've just read this through and it's mainly bollocks, but if there's one sentence that helps I guess it's been worth it.

Good luck.
Late Doors

There's a common theme here about work. There is absolutely no point whatsoever of resisting change at work. All it gives you is stress. No matter how right you think you are you can do nothing. Yeah, say your piece, speak your mind to start with , you'll probably even be respected for it initially but once the wheels are in motion you have to go with, or leave. Its only a job FFS

And oh, "Eat well, sleep and get some excercise". As per, some great advice from Cuts there. Its a cliche for a reason
Frazier Cranium

I had ME or PTSD or what some called Yuppie Flu for over a year.  Eventually I returned to work on full time pay but part time hours - doctors always said I shouldn't go back until I was 100% but the independent people Occupational Health always knew I wasn't malingering as I always told them I wanted to go back.  Anyway, work treated me okay overall, shit bosses aside, and I asked for a meeting as my 'career' was going nowhere to tell them that as I didn't want to be there and they didn't want me there, why not offer me Vol Redundancy.  I got it and it was the both the daftest and the cleverest decision I ever made.

I've said it to Heyho a few times that my biggest downfall at work was ambition, i should have let the fuckers come asking for me rather than let myself get stressed seeking that bit more 'kudos', responsibility and pay.  

Daft as it definitely will sound, even after more than a decade of not working there, I regularly have bad dreams about work duties!
Late Doors

You were lucky then Codge, most other places these days would have put you through two years of hell and "performance managed" you out with FA. Ive said it to loads of people at work dont fall for this stretch yourself shit. Nothing will make you unhappier than doing a job thats a bit beyond you for the sake of ambition and a bit more pay (if your lucky). By just being a bit better than the job you are doing is better for you and better for the organisation but opinion on that seems to be divided these days between me and the rest of the world
Cutsyke

Without sounding like I'm having a dig, what do you all do that you take so seriously?

We're going to a party Friday night, I know the first question people will ask me is what do you do? I never ask that question. I'd consider my life a failure if I let my job define me.
Frazier Cranium

Late Doors wrote:
You were lucky then Codge, most other places these days would have put you through two years of hell and "performance managed" you out with FA. Ive said it to loads of people at work dont fall for this stretch yourself shit. Nothing will make you unhappier than doing a job thats a bit beyond you for the sake of ambition and a bit more pay (if your lucky). By just being a bit better than the job you are doing is better for you and better for the organisation but opinion on that seems to be divided these days between me and the rest of the world


You earn your luck sometimes, LD .  Besides, I didn't feel particularly lucky at the time - I wasn't well and wasn't even sure why, my role had been undermined for months and was being sneakily phased out (short termism on a Cellino scale) and I was v disillusioned with the department which I'd been with for 11 years and actually felt something for.  I wish I'd worked alongside you so you could guide me
Cutsyke

I've turned down management positions which would pay considerably more than I earn purely because I think the toll is too high. 24/7 on call, questioned if you take a day off, beholden to a workforce who may or may not be motivated (and I'm not judging anyone for not been motivated at work, a necessary evil). I know I'll never get asked again but I'd rather fly under the radar as much as possible, get a bit of overtime here and there and never be wealthy but maybe get by, again, a relative term. My lot are a lot more comfortable than I was as a kid.
Heyho

I would like to thank everyone for their views. It is very interesting to hear the other side. I am finding things hard at the moment and reading such comments makes me look at things from other perspectives.

Not last friday but the friday before i went for an interview which, as I see it, is basically what I am doing now. At 9:20 am (the interview was at 11:00am) I was informed that the interview had been cancelled as there were now too few candidates. The interview was re-arranged for 9:00am the following (last) Thursday. I was informed yesterday (monday) at 2:20pm that I had been unsuccessful. There has only been 3 candidates all interviewed on the Thursday.

Isn't great how people are treat.

Cuts, you asked what I do that I take so seriously. I ain't no brain surgeon or heart surgeon. But I am the one that has to ensure that the IT equipment they use is ALWAYS working. If it didn't then that wait in A&E, any clinic etc would quadruple. And that operation could be cancelled. No I don't do direct patient care but I can help it indirectly. And that is something I take very seriously. of course things would go on if I buggered off tomorrow. I am not that arrogant to think otherwise (unlike some) but whilst I am employed I shall ensure I do my best. Hence why I get so frustrated. Oh and don't think I don't know what the contribution that the vast majority of people make.
Cutsyke

Don't get me wrong, I do my job to the best of my ability, I think that's part of the reason I was offered a management position. I think, and I'm not trying to sound smug, you need to find a way to separate work and life, so you live a healthy longer life. If you've done the best you can you should be able to go home at night not worrying about work.

I worked in the power plant of a hospital briefly, shit pay massive responsibility. I once noticed the lights fading one hot humid summer day. I checked the power coming into the building, three phase two of which were low. Those I worked with just shrugged it off. I eventually got the head guy who ran the hospital, I'm not sure of his title but he was management not medical, told him what I'd found and suggested we contact the utility company. Good idea, you do it. I called them and yes they'd lowered the voltage to try avoid a brown out, I knew why they'd done it, I've seen it before in New York, buildings where elevators won't run but everything else looks fine and I get why they do it. Asked if they could possibly find another way, a different part of the grid because I was calling from a hospital and we were border line going over to back up generators, people were booked for operations, we had a massive dialysis department etc... In short, it's a fucking hospital. They said they'd never received a call like that before and managed to provide full power. I'm reasonably confident there'd been hot humid days before. I clocked out at 3pm and didn't think about it again until 7am the next day. I don't think the admin guy gave it any thought at all. I got called up to his office a few days later where he told me he was leaving for another hospital, more pay and he'd like me to go with him. Quickly figured out he wanted me because I appeared to give a shit and in his eyes this meant he'd be able to dump on me and I'd be to conscientious to not give a shit. People will do that if you let them.

Point I'm badly making is you have to find a way to separate the two, work and home. You're only going round once and you need to enjoy it. I hope you get sorted.

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