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Late Doors

Great mysteries of our Time.

Ill throw this one in for starters

How has James  Martin become such a prolific presenter on the beeb? Never has so much wood been presented anywhere to anyone since a certain horse entered the gates of Troy. All the warmth and humour of the Nuremberg trials and if that wasn't bad enough he cant cook a thing without a sackfull of butter,salt and sugar. Complete waste of breathing space not to mention licence money.
Dock

Metric and imperial both in everyday use. It baffles and annoys me why we haven't gone one way or t'other? Anybody know why? There are some clever lads on here so I expect an answer by sundown.
Dalek

Dock

It all comes down to British resistance to change from traditional things - and I give a few examples below:-

You are presumably happy to buy your petrol in litres - yet talk about the miles per gallon of your car?

You buy your kitchen units in millimetre sizes - yet you tell people your height is in feet and inches.

You still buy pints of beer - yet spirits/wines are sold in millilitres. Spirits used to be 1/6 of a gill.

What size are your shoes? 9 or 43?

See articles about the "metric martyrs" from 2001 ish

Also the link below offers an insight

http://www.bwmaonline.com/

Famously, the Mars Climate Orbiter crashed in 1999 as one computer was giving readings in non SI units, whereas another was using SI units - so even a scientific organisation (NASA) suffered from the dual system in use.

Ultimately, people use the unit references that they are comfortable with and which have a definite relevance to their understanding of meaning.

I think that it is pertinent to point out that for those measurement units that the vast majority of people do not use in everyday life (thinking of physical or chemical properties) then the SI unit is generally used - as this is the first point of reference they encounter.

But for more common everyday usages, the traditional imperial measures persist.

As with any language, it is the common parlance that is used - and this may be the reason as to why your question arose.
Dock

As answers go it's a belter. Ta for posting Dalek!
Late Doors

Yep, beats mine. I thought it was Probably a reflection of  our post war limbo between allegiance through debt to the States (Imperial) and geographic and historical connection to Europe (metric) whilst trying  to maintain an independence (traditionally imperial). We' ve resisted pressure from Europe to go fully and exclusively metric but needed to align our systems with theirs. As always its a compromise that's inevitably brought ambiguity and all thge confusion that brings.

Ill throw in dead pigeons. Where the hell are they. See millions of them but only the odd dead one usually in the road.

Sundown? Who are you? Gary Cooper  (c/o Larry David)
fartcatcher

Once we're out of Europe won't we going back to Guineas, Fahrenheit, and rods, poles and perches?
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
Yep, beats mine. I thought it was Probably a reflection of  our post war limbo between allegiance through debt to the States (Imperial) and geographic and historical connection to Europe (metric) whilst trying  to maintain an independence (traditionally imperial). We' ve resisted pressure from Europe to go fully and exclusively metric but needed to align our systems with theirs. As always its a compromise that's inevitably brought ambiguity and all thge confusion that brings.

Ill throw in dead pigeons. Where the hell are they. See millions of them but only the odd dead one usually in the road.

Sundown? Who are you? Gary Cooper  (c/o Larry David)


Have you been watching Curb LD? I remember that conversation he had with Richard Lewis.
Dock

Beer mats. Went away, then came back in certain places with the real ale boom. Don't see many now.
Heyho

Late Doors wrote:

Ill throw in dead pigeons. Where the hell are they. See millions of them but only the odd dead one usually in the road. (c/o Larry David)


I've always wondered where the birds sleep. When I take Cooper (the dog and not a past Leeds United left back) out for a walk at night I like to shine the torch up into the trees. Never once have I seen a bird.
Dock

fartcatcher wrote:
Once we're out of Europe won't we going back to Guineas, Fahrenheit, and rods, poles and perches?


Ha! I shouldn't complain really because if I had to start converting furlongs and handicapping pounds in horseracing I'd be as confused as fuck!*

*Yes, even more than I am now.
Grind

Almost everything here seems to be in Imperial units (and, even then, they aren't necessarily the same Imperial units (e.g. pints aren't, well, proper pints for more than one reason)) but the metric system is used for "real" science.

The only measurements I seem to routinely have problems with concern temperature.

If things well are above freezing, I mentally think in Fahrenheit but once things get chuffing cold, I revert to Centigrade.

Obviously, I know how to convert between the two, but I consciously have to do the conversion to know what 15C "is" in old money and, similarly, need to do the same with, say, 15F, the other way.

* Wonders whether to put on jumper. *
Grind

This one really is illogical - I always have to stop to (briefly) think which way is East and which way is West (e.g. when joining roads here).

I never have to do that for North and South.

Bonkers.
carp

Strange innit.. I work in metric. Know a price per litre relative to a gallon and thereby mpg. I give my height and weight in imperial but know my height in metric. Do temperature in centigrade and distance in miles in UK and km abroad. Strange carry on.
sheeps

Keith Lemon.


WHYYYYYY???????????
Heyho

Oak. Not like there's shed loads of the stuff yet the amount of oak furniture (supposedly solid oak) that is around nowadays.

I mean those trees take a bloody long while to grow. AT least 50 years for some species and 100 for others. Compare that to the lonesome pine. They grow in no time
Dalek

Grind wrote:

The only measurements I seem to routinely have problems with concern temperature.

If things well are above freezing, I mentally think in Fahrenheit but once things get chuffing cold, I revert to Centigrade.

*


I included this example in my response to Dock's question, then removed it before posting to avoid over-complication.

I too refer to cold weather (important detail) temperatures in °Celsius and warm conditions in °Fahrenheit.

I think the clue is with reference to a common substance we know is cold when at 0 °C and hot at 100 °C - water.

The figures on the scale used around zero convey the cold meaning and towards 100 the hot meaning. The scale used therefore becomes interchangeable depending upon context and what everybody understands.  Even the UK weather forecasters who use Celsius as a matter of course also include the Fahrenheit equivalent when talking about hot weather (especially as it nears 100° F).  

It is a long time since I heard a weather forecaster saying the temperature will be a chilly 32 degrees tomorrow (°F).

The changing use of the English language is a fascinating subject.
Grind

Don't start me on Kelvins.
Grind

Couldn't help myself: I had to go and look up the (basically minimal) differences between Celsius and Centigrade.
fartcatcher

The 'Hipster' look
Late Doors

Dock wrote:
Late Doors wrote:


Sundown? Who are you? Gary Cooper  (c/o Larry David)


Have you been watching Curb LD? I remember that conversation he had with Richard Lewis.


Yep, finally catching up with it. Just into series two. Its well ace n that.
Late Doors

Heyho wrote:
Late Doors wrote:

Ill throw in dead pigeons. Where the hell are they. See millions of them but only the odd dead one usually in the road. (c/o Larry David)


I've always wondered where the birds sleep. When I take Cooper (the dog and not a past Leeds United left back) out for a walk at night I like to shine the torch up into the trees. Never once have I seen a bird.


I think they are genetically conditioned to keep Schtumm during the night so as not to give their position away to predators. Especially them with Dogs and Torches.
Late Doors

sheeps wrote:
Keith Lemon.


WHYYYYYY???????????


Search me. I cringe everytime i see him. Good job he's from Leeds and not Yorkshire. *Thinks about Mick Mc*
sheeps

Late Doors wrote:
sheeps wrote:
Keith Lemon.


WHYYYYYY???????????


Search me. I cringe everytime i see him. Good job he's from Leeds and not Yorkshire. *Thinks about Mick Mc*





Keith Lemon, invented in Leeds?



About right.
Late Doors

I'm a neat and tidy guy. Not too excessive just like a bit of order about the place but I fear there may be a conspiracy to challenge the fundamentals of every shred of decency I hold when it comes to wire and cables.

I take out my I Pod ear buds, twind the flex carefully and place it neatly in the drawer. Sometimes still plugged into the device sometimes separately, it makes no difference. The next time I pick them up to use, and it can be a matter of only minutes they have somehow slithered and wriggled and manipulated themselves into a seething mass of knots and loops that take an age to unwind. The same applies to garden equipment flex like the leaf blower and hedge trimmers. Why is this Reg? why? It drives me fucking insane
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
I'm a neat and tidy guy. Not too excessive just like a bit of order about the place but I fear there may be a conspiracy to challenge the fundamentals of every shred of decency I hold when it comes to wire and cables.

I take out my I Pod ear buds, twind the flex carefully and place it neatly in the drawer. Sometimes still plugged into the device sometimes separately, it makes no difference. The next time I pick them up to use, and it can be a matter of only minutes they have somehow slithered and wriggled and manipulated themselves into a seething mass of knots and loops that take an age to unwind. The same applies to garden equipment flex like the leaf blower and hedge trimmers. Why is this Reg? why? It drives me fucking insane


I feel your pain brother. Same at our house with chargers, mower cables, Iron cord. You name it, and it fucking knots up. Bonkers!
Dock

Here's one that gets me. When did people start eating so much? Massive cups of pop, 'Going Large' on meals? People didn't used to eat the quantities they do now. Sometimes I see people eating who'd do better with a trough than a tray. It wasn't always like this, was it?
carp

25 killed by a car bomb in Kabul gets a brief headline from news agencies. Same all across these areas of conflict. It has become accepted as the norm and almost un newsworthy. Imagine that in London or Paris.
Heyho

carp wrote:
25 killed by a car bomb in Kabul gets a brief headline from news agencies. Same all across these areas of conflict. It has become accepted as the norm and almost un newsworthy. Imagine that in London or Paris.


There was an excellent 'Not the Nine O'clock News' sketch on that subject. Some irrelevant British news getting headliner news over catastrophic foreign event that didn't include a British person
Late Doors

Smoking, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous, anti social and can lead to untold misery, cant advertise anywhere.

Drinking, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous and can lead to untold misery, can hardly advertise anywhere.

Gambling, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous and can lead to untold misery yet I can hardly click on anything or watch anything without being bombarded with outrageous lies regarding the fun and excitement it brings. Especially galling when delivered by some fake cockney millionaire hard man with the common touch telling me to do it responsibly.
Late Doors

Jennifer Anniston, great comedy actress, iconic, Beautiful, Star in probably the greatest sit com of all time yet can't seem to pick even a semi decent filum to be in if her billions depended on it.
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
Smoking, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous, anti social and can lead to untold misery, cant advertise anywhere.

Drinking, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous and can lead to untold misery, can hardly advertise anywhere.

Gambling, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous and can lead to untold misery yet I can hardly click on anything or watch anything without being bombarded with outrageous lies regarding the fun and excitement it brings. Especially galling when delivered by some fake cockney millionaire hard man with the common touch telling me to do it responsibly.


Totally agree about the gambling companies and advertising gambling. But as far as I know LD there is some very heavy legislation on the way re advertising of gambling and a possible total ban on FOBT's* in bookmakers shops due to the misery they bring. Those of us who follow racing have been aware for a while that the immoral bastards are going to get their wings clipped through future legislation re the last few years of unseen growth in online gambling, tax avoidance, and saturation of bookies shops in deprived areas.

*Fixed Odds Betting Terminals aka: One Armed Bandits.
Heyho

I want to know why the nation is turning in to a set of lazy bastards who can't wash their own cars given the number of these hand wash places cropping up. Of course I have never frequented one of those myself.
Late Doors

Dock wrote:
Here's one that gets me. When did people start eating so much? Massive cups of pop, 'Going Large' on meals? People didn't used to eat the quantities they do now. Sometimes I see people eating who'd do better with a trough than a tray. It wasn't always like this, was it?


carp

Russell Howard on tv
Late Doors

When did people stop queueing for buses?
carp

Late Doors wrote:
When did people stop queueing for buses?


Ever flown Ryanair?
carp

Late Doors wrote:
Especially galling when delivered by some fake cockney millionaire hard man with the common touch telling me to do it responsibly.


Bit regionalist that. Would it have been OK if it was Keith Lemon or .....can't think of anymore Leeds based mega stars.

*Agrees*
Heyho

Dock wrote:
Here's one that gets me. When did people start eating so much? Massive cups of pop, 'Going Large' on meals? People didn't used to eat the quantities they do now. Sometimes I see people eating who'd do better with a trough than a tray. It wasn't always like this, was it?


It's like if going in those carvery places when you can go back again and again and again. Why do people feel the need to pile up their plates first time round then you see them leave and they have left half their plate of food.

Sheer greed.
sheeps

Heyho wrote:
Dock wrote:
Here's one that gets me. When did people start eating so much? Massive cups of pop, 'Going Large' on meals? People didn't used to eat the quantities they do now. Sometimes I see people eating who'd do better with a trough than a tray. It wasn't always like this, was it?


It's like if going in those carvery places when you can go back again and again and again. Why do people feel the need to pile up their plates first time round then you see them leave and they have left half their plate of food.

Sheer greed.




I love a Toby me.
Dock

Tipping. Can't work out if it's socialism in action and spreading the wealth around for the common good, or are we helping subsidise poor wages by employers? I wish there were some guidelines on who to/ not to tip.
Forest

Dock wrote:
Tipping. Can't work out if it's socialism in action and spreading the wealth around for the common good, or are we helping subsidise poor wages by employers? I wish there were some guidelines on who to/ not to tip.


Feel the same way about food banks, are we helping the needy or are we letting the government get away without helping it's most vulnerable.
Heyho

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/alabama...lerks-1994-killing-084353447.html

I am not greatly against the death penalty in certain circumstances but why or why is this form of execution (lethal injection) so convoluted. I mean you can be dead at the blink of an eye with a cyanide capsule. What or why cannot it be done better.
Late Doors

carp wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
Especially galling when delivered by some fake cockney millionaire hard man with the common touch telling me to do it responsibly.


Bit regionalist that. Would it have been OK if it was Keith Lemon or .....can't think of anymore Leeds based mega stars.

*Agrees*


Yep fair do, I could easily have said Comedy Northern buffoon but Chris Kamara still holds good stock from his Leeds Days.
Late Doors

Does anyone actually buy perfume on the strength of these increasingly bizarre adverts for them?
sheeps

No.
Heyho

Late Doors wrote:
Does anyone actually buy perfume on the strength of these increasingly bizarre adverts for them?


I stick to Asda's own role on deodorant stick at £1. I'm married and don't need to impress
sheeps

Heyho wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
Does anyone actually buy perfume on the strength of these increasingly bizarre adverts for them?


I stick to Asda's own role on deodorant stick at £1. I'm married and don't need to impress


Well I am impressed.
fartcatcher

I don't understand these nail bars. I went into one and asked for a pack of 100 5mm round brads and they looked at me like I was mental.
Late Doors

What made magazines send out ridiculous early editions? Got my Uncut post Christmas edition just after Christmas and it was February's . March's is due out soon. Same with Garden mags, full of Daffodils and the joys of early spring and its fecking middle of freezing january.
Dock

fartcatcher wrote:
I don't understand these nail bars. I went into one and asked for a pack of 100 5mm round brads and they looked at me like I was mental.


Ace!

Re LD's point about mag subscriptions. Same with Mojo. I often find that I've only read half of an edition and the next months is on my door mat.
carp

Vesta curry. I used to love it in 70s. But why didn't we just make our own and why did they always have raisins in?
Late Doors

We had two curry houses in Hudders back then, Icky's and Cheifies both on Bradford road or therabouts and both absolute rank. The cool brigade swore by them, so did i the two times i went but not in the same way. Put me off curries for a very long time and Vestas were the only kind id have, rasins n all, thought it was normal. So much i used to have the Dansak when i eventually dared have another go in the mid '80's from the excellent Bizmillah in Marsh and no more Vestas from then on. They used to do Chow Mein as well with the ace crispy noodles
Dock

Late Doors wrote:
We had two curry houses in Hudders back then, Icky's and Cheifies both on Bradford road or therabouts and both absolute rank. The cool brigade swore by them, so did i the two times i went but not in the same way. Put me off curries for a very long time and Vestas were the only kind id have, rasins n all, thought it was normal. So much i used to have the Dansak when i eventually dared have another go in the mid '80's from the excellent Bizmillah in Marsh and no more Vestas from then on. They used to do Chow Mein as well with the ace crispy noodles


That one in Marsh, they never let you use the bog.




























BIZ-MILL-AH NOOOOOO, THEY WILL NOT LET YOU GO! BIZ-MILL-AH NOOOOO, THEY WILL NOT LET YOU GO!

Grind

I've got a lamb dupiaza on my plate.

Got a naan? Got a naan? Whe'd my fucking garlic naan go?

Vindaloo. White Lightning.

I'll shortly soon be shiteing.

Errr. etc. and that.
Dock

Grind wrote:
I've got a lamb dupiaza on my plate.

Got a naan? Got a naan? Whe'd my fucking garlic naan go?

Vindaloo. White Lightning.

I'll shortly soon be shiteing.

Errr. etc. and that.


Seven Sea's of Riata
Dock

It's A Kind of Shashlik!

Keema Yourself Alive!
Dock

I Want to Bake Ghee

*slaps self*
Late Doors

18th January and March's Uncut drops through the letter box. Is it some kind of race with rival mags?
fartcatcher

I've never understood 'Protein Hair Shampoo'. Surely if you need some protein you swallow it. If you could absorb it through your scalp, you'd just empty your dinner on top of your head.
carp

that made me laugh a lot.
Grind

* Drinks gallon of Head and Shoulders. *
Dock

carp wrote:
that made me laugh a lot.


Fartcatcher logic is a beautiful thing. Did he ever tell you about trying to eat a takeaway with some pliers? The man is a fucking legend, FACT!
Dock

A mystery to me is why Supermarkets have a 'Finest' range. It just makes me think the other stuff they sell must be babakaka. On closer inspection I'd wager the ingredients of  the Finest range is a bit babakaka too. Surely it would be better to make your standard brands to a 'Finest' quality and then everybody would keep coming back to buy your quality produce at a reasonable price. Or is that too easy?
Late Doors

And what the chuff is EXTRA Virgin olive oil? How can anything be extra virgin?
Grind

Tastes like spinach?

Plastic Man

Late Doors wrote:
And what the chuff is EXTRA Virgin olive oil? How can anything be extra virgin?


Extra virgin olive oil is mechanically (cold) pressed, and has an acidity level of less than 0.8%. It also must pass a taste test.

Virgin olive oil has an acidity of less than 2%. It may also meet the low acidity of extra virgin oil, but didn't pass the taste test.

I wonder if "extra" has been carried across from another language, and doesn't have a literal translation? In Spain there is "Chorizo Extra", typically a very large chorizo ideal for machine carving. It is also described in English as "Chorizo Extra", but I don't think the "extra" has a literal translation from Spanish.
Late Doors

Splendid, So what is dirty hot arse been around the block a few times slutty oil then?
Grind

I can't believe it's not fanny butter?
Grind

Spreads straight from the fridge.

* Gips *
Plastic Man

Late Doors wrote:
Splendid, So what is dirty hot arse been around the block a few times slutty oil then?


Crude oil.
Late Doors

very good
Grind

Plastic Man wrote:
Late Doors wrote:
Splendid, So what is dirty hot arse been around the block a few times slutty oil then?


Crude oil.


From Wembley.
Late Doors

Right, so who's taken War on Drugs off the planet ?
Late Doors

Who are these "new members" that pop up everyday. I know they arent real but there must be a person behind them. Why do they do it? what are they hoping to achieve? never understood this spamming thing
fartcatcher

Dock wrote:
carp wrote:
that made me laugh a lot.


Fartcatcher logic is a beautiful thing. Did he ever tell you about trying to eat a takeaway with some pliers? The man is a fucking legend, FACT!


Late Doors

15th Feb and April's uncut drops through the letter box with adverts for Mother's day gifts in it. Getafeckinggrip willya
Grind

Late Doors wrote:
15th Feb and April's uncut drops through the letter box with adverts for Mother's day gifts in it. Getafeckinggrip willya


To be fair, this issue is late by at least twenty-five years.

* Thinks about it. *

Grind

There's not much call to adopt cute little fifty-three (going on fifty-four) year olds.

Cruel bastards.
Dock

CD's scratch easier these days than they used to. I've got cd's that are twenty years old, bit battered but play great. Two recently manufactured cd's that I've dropped only once on the sometimes-gritty footwell floor of the car, totally fucked. The splendid Wilko Johnson and Roger Daltry album and a Dylan bootleg. That shit ain't right! I have to bin them once they are scratched. Please give generously at this giving website:

www.dockisabutterfingeredknackerknobandneedstorebuysomecdsnthat.com
Dock

fartcatcher wrote:
Dock wrote:
carp wrote:
that made me laugh a lot.


Fartcatcher logic is a beautiful thing. Did he ever tell you about trying to eat a takeaway with some pliers? The man is a fucking legend, FACT!




Ace! I was impressed with Elvis's grave but yours is way classier!
Grind

Pliers is a quite uncommon surname, isn't it?
Plastic Man

Dock wrote:
CD's scratch easier these days than they used to. I've got cd's that are twenty years old, bit battered but play great. Two recently manufactured cd's that I've dropped only once on the sometimes-gritty footwell floor of the car, totally fucked.


It's not quite the indestructibility they promised on Tomorrow's World. Perhaps you record/rip them as a back-up in case the original becomes damaged?
Dock

Here's one that I don't understand. Soaring property prices/ rents. If people cant afford houses I would think in my own naive way that somebody would say: "Right, hang fucking on. This is getting stupid. Why don't we try and plateau the price of houses so more people can get a mortage that doesn't mean they have to sell vital organs to be able to pay it.".

I don't get it. I just don't get it.
carp

I want that dog Grindon.  Give it to me now
Late Doors

Dock wrote:
Here's one that I don't understand. Soaring property prices/ rents. If people cant afford houses I would think in my own naive way that somebody would say: "Right, hang fucking on. This is getting stupid. Why don't we try and plateau the price of houses so more people can get a mortage that doesn't mean they have to sell vital organs to be able to pay it.".

I don't get it. I just don't get it.


yep, always been a bit of a mystery to me as well. Bread heads will say its all to do with supply and demand, house will sell for as much as people will pay for them but I'm not buying that at all. There are other sinister elements afoot here, there must be. For a start the other side of the equation is how much people are willing to accept for theirs and as long as estate agents and busllshit news reports tell us about rising prices the less inclined people are to accept offers. Chuff me there are hundreds and hundreds for sale around here some for years, good ones as well. Nah house prices and rents are a fundamental building block in the system. Not only are they a commodity they are a tool for social control and as such their exchange value is determined by other controlling factors. Can anyone seriously tell me that longer life spans, longer working careers, the gig job market, and a deliberate shift to private landlord renting hasn't had an impact ? Throw in developers, councillors, builders, lawyers, second home owners and foreign property buyers into the mix and you have a complete twatfest that distorts any notion of supply and demand out of all recognition.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

Late Doors wrote:
Smoking, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous, anti social and can lead to untold misery, cant advertise anywhere.

Drinking, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous and can lead to untold misery, can hardly advertise anywhere.

Gambling, filthy habit, addictive, dangerous and can lead to untold misery yet I can hardly click on anything or watch anything without being bombarded with outrageous lies regarding the fun and excitement it brings. Especially galling when delivered by some fake cockney millionaire hard man with the common touch telling me to do it responsibly.


Well said - all those gambling adverts during televised sport make me want to puke - it's a rotten addiction that is endlessly normalised and promoted EVERYWHERE
sheeps

MONEY!!!

Where does that go then?

Obviously there will be some in the till behind the bar but where does all 'the' money go? Years of austerity because there is no 'money' followed by more austerity because there is (we are told), no 'money'.

Has it been burnt, lost or what?

Rising cost of goods and services, no pay rises, public services slashed, and by who?

Yes, the people who do have money.
Dock

Me: Do you serve mugs of tea? Rather than the pot?

Lady in cafe: No love, just the pot and a cup?

Me: Maybe you could just pour some tea, hot water, and milk into the cup and give me it.

Lady in cafe: Tell you what love, if I put it all on a tray you can make it how you like it eh. That'll be £2.50 please darlin.

Me: Er, thanks.

And so it begins. Pour tea pot which drips (no matter how adept you are at pouring, it will always fucking drip) all over saucer and table. Then pour milk from crap stainless steel pot which also drips. Then mop up spilt tea and milk with napkin.

When you want to top up your cup...repeat the above.

For a country that prides itself on enjoying a god cup of tea why do we have baba utensils for enjoying it in public? And why can't people who work in cafes just make the fucking thing and hand over the completed cup to the thirsty customer? Total fucking mystery! All I want out of life is a mug of good strong tea whilst I watch the world go by. Do I expect too much?
Grind

True dat.
Plastic Man

Dock wrote:
That'll be £2.50 please darlin.


Two and a half quid for a cup of tea?

I presume she gave you a blow job as well for no extra charge.
Grind

Plastic Man wrote:
Dock wrote:
That'll be £2.50 please darlin.


Two and a half quid for a cup of tea?

I presume she gave you a blow job as well for no extra charge.


No wonder he spilt his milk.
Dock

Grind wrote:
Plastic Man wrote:
Dock wrote:
That'll be £2.50 please darlin.


Two and a half quid for a cup of tea?

I presume she gave you a blow job as well for no extra charge.


No wonder he spilt his milk.


She put her jugs on the tray and that was it. The napkin came in handy. Or rather I came in my handy and then wiped it on the napkin.
Grind

Dock wrote:
Grind wrote:
Plastic Man wrote:
Dock wrote:
That'll be £2.50 please darlin.


Two and a half quid for a cup of tea?

I presume she gave you a blow job as well for no extra charge.


No wonder he spilt his milk.


She put her jugs on the tray and that was it. The napkin came in handy. Or rather I came in my handy and then wiped it on the napkin.


* Covers puppy's eyes. *
Dock

Grind wrote:
Dock wrote:
Grind wrote:
Plastic Man wrote:
Dock wrote:
That'll be £2.50 please darlin.


Two and a half quid for a cup of tea?

I presume she gave you a blow job as well for no extra charge.


No wonder he spilt his milk.


She put her jugs on the tray and that was it. The napkin came in handy. Or rather I came in my handy and then wiped it on the napkin.


* Covers puppy's eyes. *


I love Border Collies me.

*gets cock out*
Grind

Ah! The old Huddersfield cock a spaniel manoeuvre.

* Worries for Dock Dog. *

** Luckily he's fast. **
sheeps

It can be funny on here.
Heyho

Late Doors wrote:
Dock wrote:
Here's one that I don't understand. Soaring property prices/ rents. If people cant afford houses I would think in my own naive way that somebody would say: "Right, hang fucking on. This is getting stupid. Why don't we try and plateau the price of houses so more people can get a mortage that doesn't mean they have to sell vital organs to be able to pay it.".

I don't get it. I just don't get it.


yep, always been a bit of a mystery to me as well. Bread heads will say its all to do with supply and demand, house will sell for as much as people will pay for them but I'm not buying that at all. There are other sinister elements afoot here, there must be. For a start the other side of the equation is how much people are willing to accept for theirs and as long as estate agents and busllshit news reports tell us about rising prices the less inclined people are to accept offers. Chuff me there are hundreds and hundreds for sale around here some for years, good ones as well. Nah house prices and rents are a fundamental building block in the system. Not only are they a commodity they are a tool for social control and as such their exchange value is determined by other controlling factors. Can anyone seriously tell me that longer life spans, longer working careers, the gig job market, and a deliberate shift to private landlord renting hasn't had an impact ? Throw in developers, councillors, builders, lawyers, second home owners and foreign property buyers into the mix and you have a complete twatfest that distorts any notion of supply and demand out of all recognition.


Remembers his A level Economics Milton Friedman stuff and the law of supply and demand.

Then remembers some other stuff that can bring prices of stuff down if it gets too over priced and thinks the housing market is exempt from those rules especially when people are using bricks and mortar for long term investment
Dock

sheeps wrote:
It can be funny on here.


Not if you're a Border Collie.

*leers*
Dock

Dock wrote:
Me: Do you serve mugs of tea? Rather than the pot?

Lady in cafe: No love, just the pot and a cup?

Me: Maybe you could just pour some tea, hot water, and milk into the cup and give me it.

Lady in cafe: Tell you what love, if I put it all on a tray you can make it how you like it eh. That'll be £2.50 please darlin.

Me: Er, thanks.

And so it begins. Pour tea pot which drips (no matter how adept you are at pouring, it will always fucking drip) all over saucer and table. Then pour milk from crap stainless steel pot which also drips. Then mop up spilt tea and milk with napkin.

When you want to top up your cup...repeat the above.

For a country that prides itself on enjoying a god cup of tea why do we have baba utensils for enjoying it in public? And why can't people who work in cafes just make the fucking thing and hand over the completed cup to the thirsty customer? Total fucking mystery! All I want out of life is a mug of good strong tea whilst I watch the world go by. Do I expect too much?


Happened again yesterday. The usual faffery of milk everywhere and tea in the saucer. Then I realised the woman who served me hadn't given me a teaspoon (a drippy steel milk jug, extra hot water, and a shit tea pot but no Feckin teaspoon). Got back up and went to the counter to get one. came back to the table and realised I didn't have a napkin. Went back to the counter again got napkin and then went back to table. Wiped everything up and wearily sat down. I noticed an old lad and his missus looking at me from the next table over. I said to them: "It's at times like this when you think, in a lot of ways, the Nazis won". The old lad just dabbed a rogue blob of scone jam from his upper lip and his missus took a good draught of her cup of tea. They didn't acknowledge me but deep down I knew, I just KNEW, they fundamentally agreed with me.
sheeps

You are a miserable old twat.












Bit like me.

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