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fartcatcher

Dog crap

There's a small nature reserve near where we live. Full of orchids, some of which are quite rare. About three years ago it was bought by the local Wildlife Trust, who improved access and put in a new gate and paths.

Since that point, it has become the place to go for dog owners who think it's a toilet for their dogs. The place is absolutely fucking covered in it. There is a dog crap bin 50m from the entrance. Mrs FC is on the warpath.  tryyryo.gif

Plastic Man

I sympathise completely. However, how did the good lady FC come to the conclusion that it was a large dog that was leaving these unwelcome deposits?

One of my bitches is a cocker that is at the far end of small for her breed, but somehow manages to drop sausages the size of a baby's arm.
Late Doors

There's an equation somewhere that divides the importance of an issue with how many fucks I give about it. The higher the figure the guiltier I am of not giving it enough thought. England's performance in the forthcoming Euros for example. Probably should care a lot as it should be quite important but I don't so the equation is about 100. Dog shit on the other hand is about 5. Shouldn't be a massive issue but it winds me up massively, mainly around the ignorant selfish worthless bastards who let their dogs shite up everywhere. The same people no doubt who park where they shouldn't because they are special and rules don't apply to them.

What intrigues me is the dog shit trees you see where people clean up, bag up and hang it on a tree for someone else to dispose of. Then there's the mad fucker who does all the right things then swaggers in to the Rat with his dog on a Sunday afternoon swinging his limp white bag full of shite around by his side like a gunslinger. He looks like he has settled in Huddersfield after considerable time rehabilitating in some North East  High Security insitution. He sits down, attaches his dog to the seat and gets a pint. My heart sinks as he then heads for the free snacks the pub graciously provides and proceeds to rummage through the mini sausages, pies, drip bread etc with his stubby fingers scooping up bits arbitrarily dropping the surplus back into the bowls like a wonky fairground grabber. I would love to say something but fear my subsequent disappearance and eventual discovery in various bin liners scattered around West Yorkshire Woodlands would not be worth the effort. At least he cleans up after his dog though.
Heyho

If ours buggers off into the fields I cant be arsed going and clearing it up but anything else which would mean people coming into contact with it then it's a scented bag for me (wifes idea)

One criticism I do have - there should be more bins. Not keen on swinging a warm bag around for a few miles that is full of shite
bearing

Aye LD, shite bag trees are ridiculous. They'd be better leaving it on the floor where at least it will biodegrade in a couple of weeks (or less) whereas unless someone else clears the tree of it's crap ornaments they will just hang there swinging limply in the breeze for time immemorial.
Heyho

I failed to mention the scented bags we use are biodegradable
smiling badger

Yep, shit trees. And just hanging on barbed wire fences too. Why? Totally agree that there doesnt seem to be enough bins about.
Do people really go into a pub with a load of shit hanging from their side? Surely you'd have found a bin before you get to your local or at least leave it outside until youve had your pint.
fartcatcher

Much to my surprise, Mrs FC's 'Turd Patrol' seems to be working.

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