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Freaky Fred

Da-dada-dada-dada-Da-dada-dada-dada

n0, 1 m N0t 4 h4x0r.  1 JU5T 3nj0y t3H M3553Dup L4N9U493 0F L33t5. 4Nyw4Y5, 1T'5 4 Pl345uR3.

WH4t 8R1n95 m3h h3R3?

H0L1D4Y.  *3v1L l4u9H*

h3y4

Sir Bulldog Craggwood

does it take practice to write like that?

how did you stumble upon reg's tank?

do you like dogs or cats?
Freaky Fred

Not if you have a translator at hand.

Forum directory on myfreeforum.org

Dogs.  No, cats.  No, dogs.  F*ck.  MONKEYS.
Freaky Fred

Came to gym completely stoned one day and had to block somebody.  I ended up leaping like Michael Jordan to block a shot, and fell face-first on the ground.

And apparently everybody else was on the other end of the court.
Pond Life

Hey Fred, welcome.

Love that message. You are well clever, you could be over qualified.

Do you require you're own title?

Coraline, seen it? (i have it's ace)
Freaky Fred

Why hello there.

Which message?

Not yet, anyways.

No, though I'm going to go and try to find the world she went into until I see it.  When I see the movie, I can drop my search and go back to my normal daily activities.
lebowski

Fred - welcome - Bowie or Weller ?
Freaky Fred

Bowie : dowut

Weller : dowut
Pond Life

Freaky Fred wrote:
Why hello there.

Which message?


n0, 1 m N0t 4 h4x0r.  1 JU5T 3nj0y t3H M3553Dup L4N9U493 0F L33t5. 4Nyw4Y5, 1T'5 4 Pl345uR3.

WH4t 8R1n95 m3h h3R3?

H0L1D4Y.  *3v1L l4u9H*

h3y4

Freaky Fred wrote:


No, though I'm going to go and try to find the world she went into until I see it.  When I see the movie, I can drop my search and go back to my normal daily activities.


You be careful Fred, it can be well double dangerous.

I know a parrot called Fred, he's green too.  Any relation?
Freaky Fred

If I was over-qualified I would have conquered you all by now and be drinking the finest wines from your hollowed-out skulls while your computers lay aside, burning brightly against night sky.

Or I would be able to figure out why theres a terrorist on my forum

--

I shall be careful, for the very look of those button-eyes creeps me right the f*ck out.  IDK why.

--

No, I'm not related to any birds that I know of.
Pond Life

If you do not mind me saying, I like you Fred because you scare me somewhat.
Freaky Fred

Yes, indeed.

Would you mind if I cut your hair?...You sure seem to have A LOT of it...

And I have been most....NAUGHTYYYYYYY....
Pond Life

Chop away, should one of us wear a blind fold to make it more exciting?

What is this naughty thing you speak off?
Freaky Fred

Just hand me my electric razor and smoke 'em if you've got 'em, you'll need them.

And my naughty-ness?

Hair...oh so much fluffy hair...it is so....NAUGHTYYYYYY...and it must be removed for it being....NAUGHTYYYYYY...
lebowski

Come back Berry we forgive you.
Freaky Fred

And think how excited they must be that I would come today, they'd shout, "Come Fred come, hooray, why dear boy you look so....NAUGHTYYYYYYYY

Y'know, looking back, I shoulda put that instead.
Pond Life

I like both replies with Leb's in the middle.
Freaky Fred

What do you mean?
Pond Life

Freaky Fred wrote:
What do you mean?


leb is short for Lebowski, i like your answers with his in the middle of them.
grunt

Hello Fred.

Have you ever been so scared that you were really quite scared?

What part of US you from - left or right?
Freaky Fred

Been so scared that I was really quite scared?

I wouldn't say so.  Theres always time, though.  Time and time again to spend.

Left or right, north or south, white or black, up and down, short or tall...does it truly matter in this life? To answer, from the east.
Pond Life

Freaky Fred wrote:


Forum directory on myfreeforum.org



So you must be a member of another forum? Which one? How long after you found us did you join up?
Freaky Fred

I'm a member of many forums and go by many names - Eat-Ham, Costello, Jericho.  I just found this forum and felt I needed to join, so I jumped right in.

Now I'm eating your cookies and stealing your shoes.

We'll have to wait for the skull-wine-buring computer bit for a while, I'm afraid.


I think I'll fit in right well here.
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

I'm so pleased


*fresh blood for my everliving army of the undead*
Pond Life

Freaky Fred wrote:


I think I'll fit in right well here.


I concur. You are most welcome to cookies. Make yourself comfy. If you have any suggestions as to how we could make this a better place for you please dot not hesitate in making them.
Pond Life

One last question, what is in the case?
Freaky Fred

@Serf - Well, Senor Grope, I shall join as your army barber.  All that hair is so...NAUGHTYYYYY...and you know how long hair grows after you are dead.

@Pond Life - The 'Shaven Haven' caption underneath the site name is enough to make me stay here for a good long time...

For now, my only suggestions are to give me a barber shop made out of elephant statues and monkey skulls.
lebowski

Ever thought of becoming a sheep shearer Fred ? I think it would be right up your street.
Freaky Fred

Yes, yes, they are all so...NAUGHTYYYYYY...

Though I end up feeding them to Georgie, my Mongolian Death Worm.  He likes a taste of the haggis, he does.

The farmers don't like that.
Freaky Fred

Pond Life wrote:
One last question, what is in the case?


-DPFAR-

In this case?

Clothes, shaving equipment, knives and evil monkeys, etc.
Pond Life

What was that last bit you mumbled?

Must be his sandwiches.
Plastic Man

The Serf of Craggwood wrote:
*fresh blood for my everliving army of the undead*


Is that how Conservative Party are planning to re-brand themselves?
Freaky Fred

@PL - Why yes, of course it is, what else would it be?

@Plastic - Oh, the Conservative party how...NAUGHTYYYY.....

@clacker - Does that mean I'm a spammer or is that a good thing?
Pond Life

Clacker wrote:
63 posts on your first visit, Fred.

I think that may be some kind of record.


Grind did well on his first day....i need to find out....
sheeps

lebowski wrote:
Ever thought of becoming a sheep shearer Fred ? I think it would be right up your street.


Fuck off you !!!
sheeps

Not you FF.

Ey up n' ows tha doo.

Stay with us we will look after you and your scissors.

What do you do with your clippings ?  Re-cycle I hope.
bearing

Welcome Fred.

Script Kiddie or hacker?
Freaky Fred

@Sheeps - Good, I thought you were mad with me.  Though, you may be about too, as sheep have such long hair, its....NAUGHTYYYYY....

@Bearing - No, just a fool with a translator.
smiling badger

Hello Fred and welcome to the tank.

Are you going to frequent the tank or is this a flying visit?

Do you know how to remove dog scratches from a leather soffa?

Are you a lover of Leeds United?
Freaky Fred

Yes, I plan on staying for a good, long time.

From a sopha?  I would suggest sewing it back up.

I don't know what sport they play, but sure, Leeds United are cool.
smiling badger

Freaky Fred wrote:


I don't know what sport they play, but sure, Leeds United are cool.


Top answer. You will do well in the Leeds section.
sheeps

smiling badger wrote:
Freaky Fred wrote:


I don't know what sport they play, but sure, Leeds United are cool.


Top answer. You will do well in the Leeds section.



Moderator material.
sheeps

Does your girlfriend/partner/wife have long hair ?

Anywhere.
Freaky Fred

No current partner, sadly.

If there was long hair, that'd be...NAUGHTYYYYYY...
Freaky Fred

She has medium-length brown hair.
Freaky Fred

You wouldn't find her attractive, I assure you.
bearing

Freaky Fred wrote:
You wouldn't find her attractive, I assure you.


Clacker finds everything attractive, don't you Clacks?
fartcatcher

Fred - welcome to the tank.

Your post rate is admirable. It took me two weeks to get to that figure. Mind you i'm senile and can't type.

Clacker wants to know if your mum looks like Fern Britton (google her)
Freaky Fred

Why thank you, good sir.

How old exactly are you?
sheeps

Freaky Fred wrote:
You wouldn't find her attractive, I assure you.


This is Clack we are talking about.


You will find out.
sheeps

Freaky Fred wrote:
Why thank you, good sir.

How old exactly are you?


I have met Fart and would say early thirties.


*pm's PL with 'ridiculous comments' thread idea*
Freaky Fred

Early 30's?  Thats not old.
Mick McCann

Freaky Fred, welcome, sorry it's late I've been doing a survey on Egyptian Honey Buzzards in Oman.

So how much do you know and what about?

No rush, take your time.
Freaky Fred

To put it simply - I know anything you don't need to know.
Mick McCann

Freaky Fred wrote:
To put it simply - I know anything you don't need to know.


That's very reassuring, there's loads that I don't need to know.
Freaky Fred

Tell me if theres anything that you don't need to know and I can do my best to tell you
Grind

I don't like the sound of all this hair cutting.

So, if you're East..........

Are you Top East (cold and unintelligible), Bottom East (hot and windy) or do you shag your sister in Middle East.

I may need to know for stalking purposes.
bearing

I reckon he's from Fried Chicken Land
Grind

bearing wrote:
I reckon he's from Fried Chicken Land


He'll live in a boxy trailer then.  
bearing

Grind wrote:
bearing wrote:
I reckon he's from Fried Chicken Land


He'll live in a boxy trailer then.  


That's one of them caravans you see in all the ufo films in middle of desert int it?
Mick McCann

Freaky Fred wrote:
Tell me if theres anything that you don't need to know and I can do my best to tell you


Yes, I don't need to know every player who ever played for Leeds United Football Club.

Thanks in advance.
Freaky Fred

Heck if I know
Mick McCann

Freaky Fred wrote:
Heck if I know


Me and you should write an encyclopedia together, just off the top of our heads.
Grind

As long as big Frank Strandli is in there, you'll be golden.
lebowski

Grind wrote:
As long as big Frank Strandli is in there, you'll be golden.


And Wayne Entwistle
Freaky Fred

Mick McCann wrote:
Freaky Fred wrote:
Heck if I know


Me and you should write an encyclopedia together, just off the top of our heads.


Did you know that technically, humans shouldn't have their ring finger?

Lions have sex for six seconds, every fifteen minutes, for two weeks out of every year.

Women are much safer in pirahna infested-water than men.  Why? Because pirahna are attracted to the smell of semen, which they can smell coming out from the inside of your body.

Lady Gaga used to be a stripper.

George Clooney used to work at JCPenny's before he became an actor.

Most events in the first Star Wars movie [a new hope] were based on WWII.

Tim Burton was originally going to direct Jurassic Park.
Grind

Humans shouldn't finger their ring either.

Six seconds, every fifteen minutes for two weeks?

Freaky Fred

Yes.

"So, if you're East..........

Are you Top East (cold and unintelligible), Bottom East (hot and windy) or do you shag your sister in Middle East.

I may need to know for stalking purposes."


"I reckon he's from Fried Chicken Land"

"He'll live in a boxy trailer then. "

Now now, you shouldn't play in the toilet.

And you shouldn't make assumptions about places you don't know much about, such as the North East, which is filled with Ivy-League colleges that easily surpass Chav-filled schools in Britain?  Or maybe the South East, which is covered in warm, beautiful beaches with the occasional jungle-ish forest, compared to cold city of London?  Or maybe Kentucky, the 'boxy-trailer' KFC land, which is actually a quite beautiful, mansion and upper middle-class filled state, where there is only about one or two KFCs, compared to your village-filled countries?

Now now, you shouldn't judge my home state, or my region of the States.  I may just get violent.

*reaches over, shaves your hair, then slits your throat and throws you out a 3-story window*
Grind

Freaky Fred wrote:
Yes.

"So, if you're East..........

Are you Top East (cold and unintelligible), Bottom East (hot and windy) or do you shag your sister in Middle East.

I may need to know for stalking purposes."


"I reckon he's from Fried Chicken Land"

"He'll live in a boxy trailer then. "

Now now, you shouldn't play in the toilet.

And you shouldn't make assumptions about places you don't know much about, such as the North East, which is filled with Ivy-League colleges that easily surpass Chav-filled schools in Britain?  Or maybe the South East, which is covered in warm, beautiful beaches with the occasional jungle-ish forest, compared to cold city of London?  Or maybe Kentucky, the 'boxy-trailer' KFC land, which is actually a quite beautiful, mansion and upper middle-class filled state, where there is only about one or two KFCs, compared to your village-filled countries?

Now now, you shouldn't judge my home state, or my region of the States.  I may just get violent.

*reaches over, shaves your hair, then slits your throat and throws you out a 3-story window*


I've heard of double wides, but a triple tall must really be some trailer. I'm suitably awed.  

Must be a right bugger to get under bridges on the old I75 though.  

Thanks for the trim, it was well past due.  
Freaky Fred

Anyways, your stereotypic views on my part of the country are, obviously, stupid and incorrect stereotypes.
Grind

Freaky Fred wrote:
Anyways, your stereotypic views on my part of the country are, obviously, stupidic and incorrect stereotypes.


Stupidic. That's me, alright.  

Are you really in Kentucky?

Just wonderin', like. Don't think I've made it there yet.  
Grind

Hmmmm. That's me off the welcoming committee then.  
bearing

Stupidic?

Is that an Ivy league College taught word then?
sheeps

Freaky Fred wrote:
Yes.

"So, if you're East..........

Are you Top East (cold and unintelligible), Bottom East (hot and windy) or do you shag your sister in Middle East.

I may need to know for stalking purposes."


"I reckon he's from Fried Chicken Land"

"He'll live in a boxy trailer then. "

Now now, you shouldn't play in the toilet.

And you shouldn't make assumptions about places you don't know much about, such as the North East, which is filled with Ivy-League colleges that easily surpass Chav-filled schools in Britain?  Or maybe the South East, which is covered in warm, beautiful beaches with the occasional jungle-ish forest, compared to cold city of London?  Or maybe Kentucky, the 'boxy-trailer' KFC land, which is actually a quite beautiful, mansion and upper middle-class filled state, where there is only about one or two KFCs, compared to your village-filled countries?

Now now, you shouldn't judge my home state, or my region of the States.  I may just get violent.

*reaches over, shaves your hair, then slits your throat and throws you out a 3-story window*



Well said Fred.
smiling badger

sheeps wrote:



Well said Fred.


Dont you mean `Right said Fred`?
Freaky Fred

@bearing - Did I really put 'stupidic'?  Strange.  It is supposed to say 'stupid'.

@Grind - Yes, Kentucky.
Mick McCann

Freaky Fred wrote:
@bearing - Did I really put 'stupidic'?  Strange.  It is supposed to say 'stupid'.
.


Awwwww, I liked stupidic.

Can you please just pretend, to me, that you meant to type stupidic?
bearing

Stupidic is a great word though, reminds me of a cartoon character that I can't quite place.
Grind

Freaky Fred wrote:
@bearing - Did I really put 'stupidic'?  Strange.  It is supposed to say 'stupid'.

@Grind - Yes, Kentucky.


Has to be said I quite like stupidic too. Whatever it means, I'm definitely it.  

The "trailer" bit was merely a play on the fact that the only thing most of us probably know about Kentucky is that it somehow involves lukewarm greasy chicken arriving in boxes with the image of someone who looks like someone you really need to keep your kids away from.  

Obviously there's much, much more to Kentucky than that..........

Errrrrr.  

Mint juleps and The Kentucky Derby.

Phew!  

I'm in New Hampshire. We're all well stupidic here.  
Grind

For those not actively reading my posts - here's a summary of them to date.

Freaky Fred

Theres about one trailer park in all of Kentucky, and theres only about one or two trailers in it.

KFC is a rarity around here, and most people don't even like it that much.

You all like that made-up word that much?
Grind

Freaky Fred wrote:
Theres about one trailer park in all of Kentucky, and theres only about one or two trailers in it.

KFC is a rarity around here, and most people don't even like it that much.

You all like that made-up word that much?


So what do you eat?

Massachusetts Broiled Chipmunk?  

We need to know. Anything else would be stupidic.  
Freaky Fred

I normally enjoy a Baked Potato, maybe some Grilled Chicken and Fried Rice.  I especially love bread sticks and the occasional Lasagna or other assorted pastas.
Grind

No chipmunk then?
Freaky Fred

No.  I can assure you I don't partake in those made-up foods you've been spilling out from your mouth .
Grind

Pity, I've got loads here that need a good home or a damn fine broiling.



* taken on front step - bold little fecker! *
Mick McCann

Grind wrote:
For those not actively reading my posts - here's a summary of them to date.





Keep digging Grind it's the only way you'll get out.
Mick McCann

Freaky Fred wrote:

You all like that made-up word that much?


Yes, it's tremendilicious

How long did it take you to think it up?
bearing

Freaky Fred wrote:
No.  I can assure you I don't partake in those made-up foods you've been spilling out from your mouth .


Any Rednecks or are they from further North?

*re-reads America in a Nutshell*
Freaky Fred

@Grind - You hungry for a squirrel? Righty-o then...

*takes squirrel jams it through your right eye and pulls it out through your mouth, then chockes with with it and curb-stomps your head*

@Mick McCann - Considering it was just a spelling error, I'd guess...1 second?

@bearing - If your looking for Rednecks, you may as well give up.  Or go look for a new member in either Texas or Mississippi.  Back in the 1950's.
lebowski

Freaky Fred wrote:
@Grind - You hungry for a squirrel? Righty-o then...

*takes squirrel jams it through your right eye and pulls it out through your mouth, then chockes with with it and curb-stomps your head*

@Mick McCann - Considering it was just a spelling error, I'd guess...1 second?

@bearing - If your looking for Rednecks, you may as well give up.  Or go look for a new member in either Texas or Mississippi.  Back in the 1950's.


* Dons suit of armour *
* Heads off for the '50s *

You were doing so well Fred, you hadn't threatened to kill or maim anyone for several hours.
Grind

Freaky Fred wrote:
@Grind - You hungry for a squirrel? Righty-o then...

*takes squirrel jams it through your right eye and pulls it out through your mouth, then chockes with with it and curb-stomps your head*

@Mick McCann - Considering it was just a spelling error, I'd guess...1 second?

@bearing - If your looking for Rednecks, you may as well give up.  Or go look for a new member in either Texas or Mississippi.  Back in the 1950's.


Squirrel is a number 7 snappy meal. I ordered chipmunk.  
Freaky Fred

Careful, Willem Dafoe may be hanging around there.
Grind

Freaky Fred

In this case, they're based on the past.
Tank Girl

so tell us about kentucky then fred.

i have just read  a fantastic story about  tobacco farmers refusing to sell to the big companies who were srewing them on price. this started the "black patch tobacco wars" which included vigilante raids terrorizing the farmers.

all i knew before that was there are a lot of horses there.
bearing

Freaky Fred wrote:




@bearing - If your looking for Rednecks, you may as well give up.  Or go look for a new member in either Texas or Mississippi.  Back in the 1950's.


*fires up flux capacitor*
Freaky Fred

Tank Girl wrote:
so tell us about kentucky then fred.

i have just read  a fantastic story about  tobacco farmers refusing to sell to the big companies who were srewing them on price. this started the "black patch tobacco wars" which included vigilante raids terrorizing the farmers.

all i knew before that was there are a lot of horses there.


Never heard of that before.

All I have to say of Kentucky is that it is an normal state, with cities and towns and suburbs, with some beautiful forests sprinkled around.
Pond Life

Do you find a lot of McCanning goes on there?
bearing

Freaky Fred wrote:
Tank Girl wrote:
so tell us about kentucky then fred.

i have just read  a fantastic story about  tobacco farmers refusing to sell to the big companies who were srewing them on price. this started the "black patch tobacco wars" which included vigilante raids terrorizing the farmers.

all i knew before that was there are a lot of horses there.


Never heard of that before.

All I have to say of Kentucky is that it is an normal state, with cities and towns and suburbs, with some beautiful forests sprinkled around.


Sounds swell Fred, excuse our stereotyping it's just what we do.

Don't forget the French smell of garlic and the Germans have no sense of humour.

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