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Pond Life

Christian Olympics

I really hope this does not offend anyone.

Christian groups are being urged to look at ways they can be involved in Londons 2012 Olympics. I find this an odd. Anywho, it got me wondering how we could make it inclusive.

Run the 100 metres with a cross on your back.

A walking race across the Olympic sized swimming pool

That is as far as i got.
Carp

Synchronized ascension. Fishing.
Carp

Cross desert walking. Sling shooting. Giant killing.
grunt

Steeplechase
Pond Life

Genius, keep them coming.
Seal

100m donkey sprint.
grunt

Smiting.
Seal

Rolling away the stone. Apostle, Goliath, and Samson weight divisions.
Carp

Bush burning
Carp

Immaculate conception
grunt

Stone-casting. First to cast wins.
grunt

Crusading.
Plastic Man

There are problems with the swimming events - the Baptists are trying to commandeer the pool. Moses is offering them a deal, whereby he splits the water in two. They can have one end. The Egyptians are suspicious.

The Spanish are favourites in the "chucking donkeys off the diving boards" event.

Sailing will be combined with fishing. Timing of storm-calming during the sail'n'trawl events will be weather dependent.
Carp

The endurance pentathlon: Fastng. Hair shirt wearing. Being patient in a Job like manner. More desert walking. Loot dance
Fin

The Jahovalin.
Carp

White water basket rafting
Fin

Rhythm(method) Gymnastics.
Plastic Man

Raising of the dead.

The shooting events will probably be well subscribed.

Speed water-into-wine changing.

Competitive catering - feeding the most with a five loaves and two fishes.
Fin

Cross - country.
Carp

Leper baiting.
Carp

Holy water rafting
Fin

Archery not popping till mariage.




*smites self*
Carp

Plastic Man wrote:



Competitive catering - feeding the most with a five loaves and two fishes.


Promoted by Last Supper Come Dine With Me special. Judas gets ejected for holding out on the whip
Forest

Before they begin they'll have to exorcise.
Fin

Goodwill Hunting
Plastic Man

Competitive bible bashing.

The combatants go head to head delivering a non-stop rant as to why their one true word is the truer.

Last man standing wins.
Fin

The Resurrection Shuffle.
Fin

Stable Tennis.
Grind

Hop, skip and buggery.
Grind

Paedophile relay - how quickly can you smuggle your errant priest from diocese A to diocese D?

* aka cross country fleeing. *
Grind

Sacrament race
Grind

400 mitres backstroke
Grind

Individual meddling
Grind

I'm enjoying this a little too much - I have to stop.
Fin

Jumble Sailing.
Grind

Cross country nunning
Grind

Pole vault - for pontiffs using real Poles.
Grind

Papal tennis
Grind

You get silver medals for cheating
Grind

The decalogue
Grind

Okay, I've stopped.
Fin

Reformation Dancing.
Late Doors

Psalm Wrestling ?
Carp

2 John 1 (it's like biblical karate)
fartcatcher

pull the pants of a choirboy race
Grind

fartcatcher wrote:
pull the pants of a choirboy race


You'd need a bloody good stopwatch for that one.
Grind

Noah's Archery
grunt

20km water walk
Grind

Steeplechase
Grind

Marython
Grind

Cockless fores
Grind

Jew Jitsu
Grind

Don't forget the shot buddhas
Grind

Fontsing

* Okay, okay, I know these are getting lame. *
Seal

FAO Grind! Avatar width Warning! FAO Grind!  



***  Please do not reply to this automatically generated post ***
Grind

Are you calling my avatar fat?
Seal

Grind wrote:
Are you calling my avatar fat?


I just realised that I had the text enlarged on my browser so I can read it comfortably, which naturally enlarges the fucking pictures as well. Twat. Me, not you.

It was a bit big though
Grind

Seal wrote:
Grind wrote:
Are you calling my avatar fat?


I just realised that I had the text enlarged on my browser so I can read it comfortably, which naturally enlarges the fucking pictures as well. Twat. Me, not you.

It was a bit big though


Are you calling my avatar a bit fat?
Forest

The Cassock Race
Late Doors

Jah velin

Discus shungroups


*also bails out*

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