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fartcatcher

Backstage rider

In the unlikely event of Stevie and the Hormones reforming and headlining at Glastonbury, me and the boys would require:

Table Tennis table, bats and balls

Guardian Quick Crossword

Kettle, Milk (semi-skimmed), sugar, teaspoons, tea (Tetley's and Darjeeling), selection of biscuits (not own brand)

One packet of jelly babies

Four packets of bacon fries

Sandwiches (egg and cress/corned beef and pickle)

Athlete's foot ointment

normal rather than quilted toilet paper

sphygmomanometer

6ft length of 4 x 2 timber, hammer and nails

four cycle helmets

gong

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