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Forest

Amsterdam

Going for a couple of days next month, never been before so any suggestions on what to see or do while me and Mrs F are there.
grunt

No idea, I've never been. Maybe visit a windmill or something.
grunt

I've been to Dieppe though, that was quite nice. There was a cafe there. You could go to a cafe in Amsterdam. I reckon there will be one there.
Fin

Never been,going later in the year.
I think the sex museum is worth a visit.
grunt

Fin wrote:

I think the sex museum is worth a visit.


Never been.
grunt

I've heard reports of a local mouse wearing clogs and making percussive sounds. Might be worth catching if you get the time.
Fin

Clacker wrote:
I've been. You'll love it. If you do nothing else, visit the Van Gogh museum it's a spectacularly fantastic experience.

I will earmark this for when i go.
Forest

grunt wrote:
I've heard reports of a local mouse wearing clogs and making percussive sounds. Might be worth catching if you get the time.


Where was that Grunt?
bearing

I agree with Grunt, Dieppe is quite nice.
Forest

So the sex museum and a cafe in Dieppe Cheers.
Late Doors

Find the Last watering hole pub. ace. LUFC Cloggy branch use it as well as HQ, or used to anyway
Sir Bulldog Craggwood

Been a few times for a few different reasons

Rijksmuseam, Leidensplein Sq for coffee, beer, waffle, take care in the streets and alleyways of the Red Light District - few scammers and pickpockets about, Anne Frank Huis Museum is an interesting place if you want to know how the place was under occupation, Van Gogh is ok but its only a load of paintings , end the night at the Grasshopper for a hotchocalate and a joint or a beer upstairs if thats your scene. Dont bother with Cassa Rosso or any those sex shows as they are RANK. The best brothels and some of the more racy coffeeshops where you could get good quality mushrooms, lsd and ecstacy have been closed down or driven underground in recent years...... apparently!!

Heineken brewery tour is good if you fancy getting pissed


editted to say LEIDSEPLEIN
sheeps

Visit the multi storey bike park.
Late Doors

Clacker wrote:
Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
Van Gogh is ok but its only a load of paintings


hgfhjgfjgfj


thumbdown.gif  nono.gif  smileymrt.gif  
Forest

Late Doors wrote:
Clacker wrote:
Sir Bulldog Craggwood wrote:
Van Gogh is ok but its only a load of paintings


hgfhjgfjgfj


thumbdown.gif  nono.gif  smileymrt.gif  


Could be a new strapline
Dock

Re: Amsterdam

Forest wrote:
Going for a couple of days next month, never been before so any suggestions on what to see or do while me and Mrs F are there.


Really unique looking city. Great place. Very nice vibe Fozdyke.

Re: suggestions on what to see or do.

The live sex shows are a good giggle, and getting legally stoned never lost its allure in all the time I was there.

Are you taking the works van, or will you be on T'Jet 2? If you are doing some human trafficking take the van, as airport officials will not class a load of confused looking Estonians as duty free.
smiling badger

Re: Amsterdam

Forest wrote:
Going for a couple of days next month, never been before so any suggestions on what to see or do while me and Mrs F are there.


Go on your own. Leave Mrs Forest at home.
Forest

Re: Amsterdam

smiling badger wrote:
Forest wrote:
Going for a couple of days next month, never been before so any suggestions on what to see or do while me and Mrs F are there.


Go on your own. Leave Mrs Forest at home.


Dock

Re: Amsterdam

Forest wrote:
smiling badger wrote:
Forest wrote:
Going for a couple of days next month, never been before so any suggestions on what to see or do while me and Mrs F are there.


Go on your own. Leave Mrs Forest at home.




You won't be laughing like that when Mrs. Fozdyke reads this thread you filthy toe rag.

*pm's thread link to Mrs. Fozdyke in order to illuminate to her the years she has already wasted by being married to a filthy toe rag*

I'm a right grass me.
smiling badger

Re: Amsterdam

[quote= Dock

I'm a right on the grass me. [/quote]

Especially when in Amsterdam.
lolwarlol

The best thing i can suggest is pone of the boat trips round the canals. I love them. You get to see the place, without the hustle and bustle of pushing your way through the streets, it is relaxing, informative and all together pleasant.
Grind

If it smells of cheese, you might not want to eat it.
Forest

Thanks for all the suggestions, apart from the wet and freezing weather it was a great trip.
lolwarlol

You have tried your hardest to shame Leb with this dazzling report haven't you? That is just plain spiteful.
lolwarlol

shpiteful.
Forest

PL2 wrote:
You have tried your hardest to shame Leb with this dazzling report haven't you? That is just plain spiteful.


Itsh been a long day, I only got back a couple of hoursh ago after de car broke down at the airport and I'm going to bed now. I'll add a bit more when I have a moment.
lolwarlol

Pa! Leb has gout and was arrested at customs, but no, thats fine, go and get some kip.
bearing

Forest wrote:
Thanks for all the suggestions, apart from the wet and freezing weather it was a great trip.


Is that it!

FFS, I could have given a better report and I didn't go.
sheeps

bearing wrote:
Forest wrote:
Thanks for all the suggestions, apart from the wet and freezing weather it was a great trip.


Is that it!

FFS, I could have given a better report and I didn't go.


You just did.
smiling badger

Strong gear out there. Short term memory loss and all that.
Forest

Right then...A pre-Valentines trip organised by Mrs.F, from Leeds with Jet2* to Amsterdam, Schipol must be the biggest airports in Europe (waits to be corrected), we taxiied for nearly twenty minutes from landing to the terminal and the flight was only 45 mins.
This was our first trip away leaving the kids to fend for themselves at home so MrsF spent the weekend fretting and making texts and calls home, my only concern was they fed the dog and didnt announce a party on facebook. We stayed at this place http://www.parkhotel.nl/ advertised as smart and contemporary, I'd call it poncy but nice. Situated between the Museum district and the Leidseplein famous for its nightlife which was a bit like Blackpool to be honest with gangs of Britsh lads in saggy arsed jeans getting pissed up and looking for the 'coffee shops'.

The weather was atrocious, wet, foggy and freezing, but that is to be expected in Scandinavia**, anyway this gave us a good excuse to warm up in the pub between sightseeing.

Canal boat ride - decent enough, an hour round Amsterdam shrouded in fog
The Rijksmuseum - Old masters and items from Hollands past, half the museum is shut due to renovation.
The Van Gogh Museum - Outstanding this, if your into old paintings that is, all his most famous pieces are in there as well as stuff by Lautrec and Monet.
Red light district - Due to my map reading skills we couldnt find this and actually got lost, Amsterdam is beautiful but it all looks the bleeding same, its all bridges and tall houses. The next day we stumbled on it, its pretty grotty.
Anne Franks house - Didnt go in because the queue was huuuuge, but saw her house. Can't believe it took the Germans two years to find them in that attic theres a big sign on the front door.
Thats it pretty much.






*Jet2 are a set of cunts, charged us for taking two pieces of luggage rather than one, ended up costing an extra £50

**Mrs F thinks Holland is in Scandinavia
Plastic Man

Thank you for that Mr Forest.

So how much is half a litre of beer these days?
lolwarlol

The secret to Amsterdam navigation is that is is roughly speaking a semi circle and once i had that fact right in my head, i was ok. I wasn't aware of there being a red light district as such i though it was fairly even spread throughout the place.

Nice reportage from the the Scandinavian country.
Plastic Man

PL2 wrote:
The secret to Amsterdam navigation is that is is roughly speaking a semi circle and once i had that fact right in my head, i was ok. I wasn't aware of there being a red light district as such i though it was fairly even spread throughout the place.

Nice reportage from the the Scandinavian country.


You're thinking of Trondheim.
Forest

Plastic Man wrote:
Thank you for that Mr Forest.

So how much is half a litre of beer these days?




4.5 Euros seemed to be average cost in every bar or restaurant.
Seal

Forest wrote:

Anne Franks house - Didnt go in because the queue was huuuuge, but saw her house. Can't believe it took the Germans two years to find them in that attic theres a big sign on the front door.


What does it say?

No really   good report Forest.


Anne frank: subject of my favourite theatre joke. I'm sure you all know the one.
Seal

Just had a thought - If i was to assign you to do a report on your next holiday, would it be a Forestry Commission?  Cos I'd have commissioned you to....    No?    Right.
bearing

Seal wrote:
Just had a thought - If i was to assign you to do a report on your next holiday, would it be a Forestry Commission?  Cos I'd have commissioned you to....    No?    Right.


I may send him seal clubbing
Seal

bearing wrote:
Seal wrote:
Just had a thought - If i was to assign you to do a report on your next holiday, would it be a Forestry Commission?  Cos I'd have commissioned you to....    No?    Right.


I may send him seal clubbing


Hello my name's Seal and I'll be your virtual Dock for this evening.
leb

I have been in Amsterdam this week, happy to report no problems with gout or customs.
Late Doors

What about toilet availability in outdoor situations ?
Grind

leb wrote:
I have been in Amsterdam this week, happy to report no problems with gout or customs.


The Grindstress is just flying back from there today.

* Raises eyebrow and strokes chin in an (almost) Hercule Poirot manner.
leb

Late Doors wrote:
What about toilet availability in outdoor situations ?


More than adequate, also, every other street is a canal. So I felt quite at home.

There did seem to be an awful lot of tourists from Manchester staggering about though.
Heyho

Used to have an annual pilgrimage to Amsterdam. Spent a brilliant New years Eve there as well.

But more recently the crack down on pot smoking has made it rather sad. Used to love going in a bar called FZ's (after Frank Zappa) and drinking  aload of beer and chatting. It was a pot joint as well but i don't smoke. Great atmosphere and loved it. then they brought a law in that alcohol and pot couldn't be sold in the same place so you ended up with stoned yanks shoving milk shaked down their gobs.

Now i here they are cracking down on pot joints. Off limits to tourists,

The ebst pub in Amsterdam is the one in the middel of the red light district. it's got massive windows and you park yerself on a window street and watch all the 'little' men shitting themselves, trying to pluck up courage to fuck lucious lucy and the like. great entertainment.
sheeps

*hopes Heyho has no photographic evidence*
Grind

Especially if the wife is involved.
Late Doors

Two damm fine places i remember from way back are the Last Watering Hole (a fab hippy/alt bar) and a club called the Milkveg (milky way). I keep badgering MrsD for a return trip as she hasn't been at all. Dunno why, i think she thinks it's all dope and sleaze but from what i remember there is a lot more to it than that
Heyho

Grind wrote:
Especially if the wife is involved.


Hey I was with the wife at the time!!!!!!

Miserable bugger was having nothing of it when i said 'shall we go see Juicy Lucy then, you can go down on her whilst she gives me a BJ'.

Disclaimer: actual comment was 'aren't thes epeople sick darling, just look at them. Just look at the knockers on her'. SLAP
Grind

Heyho wrote:
Grind wrote:
Especially if the wife is involved.


Hey I was with the wife at the time!!!!!!

Miserable bugger was having nothing of it when i said 'shall we go see Juicy Lucy then, you can go down on her whilst she gives me a BJ'.

Disclaimer: actual comment was 'aren't thes epeople sick darling, just look at them. Just look at the knockers on her'. SLAP


I do believe I've also had pretty much exactly that conversation.  

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